April 11, 2015

Celebrating #2

Another post on 'celebrating'.
In dutch again! 

April 5, 2015


My kind of celebrating and view on Easter.
In dutch.

March 24, 2015

Philosophy versus self-help: Being versus becoming

'In philosophy you focus on, what cooperation and conversation require of you in order to that you at all can exist: that you speak true (don´t lie), that you are prepared to reach mutual understanding and agreement (don´t manipulate), don´t make an exception of yourself (but treat others as equals). From this rises the eternal moral values (as for example that it is wrong to lie), and generally our ideas of right and justice: the so-called human rights, the idea about the individual person´s autonomy and dignity: you shall treat the other not as a mean, but  as a goal. 

Philosophy and spirituality are in opposition to all kinds of ideology. In philosophy of existence (and in true spirituality) the concept of being are covering the concepts of being yourself, of authenticity, autonomy, decisiveness and power of action. It is also covering the concept of happiness: the existential and life-philosophical concepts of reality, co-operation, movement, safety and meaning. Being yourself is therefore the same as being yourself present in the now, no matter what you are, no matter how much you are suffering, how poor you are, or how incompetent other people are conceiving you to be Being yourself present in the now (passive listening presence, silence, or meditation) will by itself awaken a spirit of greatness.

In the self-help industry all this is turned upside down because of the ideological aspects. The second aspect of the above-mentioned paradox is therefore, that instead of focusing on being (where the self-help industry has the word authenticity from), it presses people to focus on becoming. In philosophy of existence (and in true spirituality) the concept of becoming is covering the concepts of trying to become something else than what you are, where you imitate others, are a slave of others ideas and ideals, and where your actions are characterized by irresoluteness and doubt. In short: non-authenticity. It is also covering the concepts of suffering: the existential and life-philosophical concepts of unreality, division, stagnation, anxiety and meaninglessness.'

(An excerpt of a piece of Morten Tolboll, whose writings I just discovered. A lot of recognision!)

March 18, 2015

The power of neutrality (arrogance #3)

"Think positive, because your thoughts create the future..(we are what we think)" We hear it often.
Is it true?
I doubt. Deeply.
There is a huge missing part in it, in my eyes.
And for me it's another form of arrogance.
I don't go with all those succes-guru's (and their concepts and followers)

A post in dutch.

March 9, 2015

Arrogance #2

Someone who says (with or without words) 'I'm beautiful', looses for me the beauty.
Someone who says (with or without words) 'I know, and I'll teach/ show you', looses for me in wisdom.

Beauty. Hidden in actions and energy.
Wisdom. Hidden in actions and energy.

Subtle. Like the fragance of a flower.
How can a flower describe it!



Brr! Something you see so often!
It's "I know more than you. I'm better than you. I'm 'higher' than you'.
In thousands, millions, of different forms you'll see it.

Also in the 'spiritual circles'. How double!

'I'm a healer'.

What does it mean?
I know I'm very radical right now, and also bequestion my own friends. Who don't gonna like it.
But I'm so serious. What does it say, when you say 'I'm a healer'?

You say: "I help people on purpose. It's my purpose to help people'.
To bring them in the light, and so on. What looks very noble indeed.

But what?
By this you say: 'I know the way! I'm giving you tools, a receipe to get there' "Take my hand'.


What you do with their intillegence?  You misuse it.
They maybe are in a state of not-knowing. As we all are. Also 'the healer'(nobody 'is there').

Intelligence is living good. To take care of yourself. Your body, mind, the whole. And so also for the others.
This care starts in you.
It's YOU.
Nobody can bring you somewhere good where you don't lead yourself.

When you go to a healer you start with: 'I need help'. Spiritual- wise. I lost the way, don't know where I am'.
This is not a right startingpoint in my eyes.
All is laying in YOU, and you should be your own healer, shaman, etc.*
The core of 'personal leadership'.

Facilitation and care for someone who is off-track I understand.
But leading him or her somewhere, no.

*In my eyes this is also the whole process of Life.
We learn ourselves. We get our life-lessons.
Life in it's magnifiqueness is for me so much more (yes, everything) than a person who says (subtle): 'follow me, I found a way (read: practises, a concept, etc) to heal you, make you (innerly) stronger'. Or something similar.

There is such a difference in helping without purpose (that it just happens) or helping with purpose.
Do you also see that subltle, tiny form of arrogance?

Subtle. But in my eyes so important..

Yesterday I read Etty Hillesum again.
And still I'm so touched by her appereance.
And it's for me so clear that all the work is laying in ourselves.
It's all about YOU and your own relation with the 'something -bigger'.
Everything is about ' The Relation'.
Nobody can guide you there than yourself.
And the people who help (without really knowing, like Etty) are the ones who work with themselves. Every single minute, without saying :'look me! I can teach you if you want!'
Your inner. That's what count. And YOU are as strong as whatever healer or guru.

March 8, 2015

Freedom, Change and 'Something- Bigger'

We are born free.
A lot of us have had some experiences that we completely felt one with every one and every thing.
That we felt: we are nature ourselves.

So. I think I can say, and a lot of us will see the same: we are freedom. We are the space, we are the world. You, me, the all of us, we do have everything, the whole of humanity in us.
No seperation. Between anything, or anyone.

But. Now.
The world is on fire.
Humanity is almost on it's end.

Humanity and ecology are almost dying (although the last for sure will remain) because of selfishness (greed).

I think an answer is the feeling we are more than 'just' human.
We have (everyone has) a choice to connect with 'something-bigger'.

Ths connection is very, very subtle and cannot be described.
It's fragile. And in the same time as strong as can be.

And in my eyes only this strength can make us overcome everything.

It's so fragile, as a fresh green leaf in spring, and it is in every connection.
That's why every relation (from the dentist to your lover) is highly important.
That's why I see 'the answer' on very small scale.

At home. In your street. In the neighbourhood.
Just everywhere.

'The answer' isn't loud in my eyes.
It is beautiful. It's lovely. Pure.
It is talking fromout a trust in 'something-bigger'.
That 'something-bigger' what you hear when you're silent.
When you see the brain makes the structure (society) we live in, but that nature is as we are when we 'think with our heart'.

This 'something- bigger' has many names.
God. The Universe. Trust. Love. Freedom. Goodness.

To have the connection with this, to be in peace and flow, means going slow.
A slow-revolution.
This is a weird oppposition by the urge of change what is needed in the world.
But we see it also in nature: things evolve.
Rushing don't work.

A good thing: it's man to man. As personal as can be. Everyone is as much important in the process. No leaders.
A totally flat form of organizing. Swarm -organization.
From inside-out!

And yes. Change, action is needed.
But in a celebrating- form.
What looks selfish, but what is the opposite.
It's showing your love to the whole, and acting fromout that.
It's feeling 'full', so the opposite of greed.
Being thankful. What is a form of celebration.

No war-against.
Because you cannot fight against greed and dumbness.
We just have to strengthen eachother by giving freedom to live from inside-out.
Knowing that in our insides lives this 'something-bigger'. And this 'something-bigger' is infinite and cannot die in any way or form.
And is even more than anything visible.

Foster this in any field, in any place.
From homes to big institutions.
Change can happen everywhere, on the smallest scale!
By touching.
Almost invisible.

Here a talk by Ivo Degn, who finished Knowmads last year.
About places of hope.

I think we indeed need many, many of this places.
And we can create them everywhere.
Even in small circles. Places to show our trust. In Life. In ourselves. In the other.

Women Day

A little piece on the 'International Women Day'. In Dutch.

February 16, 2015


Sitting in the metro back home I realized something what made my eyes wet.
It was just small notice..
I realized: as a mother I'm always in a state of love. Or at least: a lot!
Thinking on the first moment I became a mother..wow..everything changed.
From that moment of all days were filled with love.
Continue.. No breaks. Ungoing. Day after day, Year after year.
So healthy..

Rich me...

But feeling this rich and knowing not everyone feels the same is hard..
What if your days are not filled with this? Not having this kind of continuty? 
I try to imagine...
My life would be so much harder..

February 5, 2015

Take your time

Wasting Time?
I’d like to comment on one of the responses to my piece about the breakdown followed by the powerful emergence at the retreat in Bali. The commenter said:
"I haven't read the full story but my thought is this. Why are they wasting time moaning about the cutting down of the forests, and use that 4 days reflective time to stop it fucking happening? And use the money that they have spent getting there to buy some of it?"
I quote this, because it is a question I ask myself every time I lead a retreat, or even speak at a two-hour evening event. It is also a question many of the participants are wrestling with. They are not, by and large, New Age spirituality addicts seeking an easy escape from engaging with the problems of the world. Quite the contrary: many of them are seasoned activists in environmental and social justice issues, sometimes (like the rainforest ecologist) with decades of experience. They come to this inquiry for much the same reason I do: dissatisfied with the methods and the failures of their movement, they sense a far greater potency is possible.
With few exceptions, anyone who has grown up in the dominant civilization is deeply programmed with the same story of self, theory of change, and habits of perception that are also responsible for ecocide and social injustice. That is why simply trying harder, putting more effort into doing what we have been doing, is unlikely to produce different results. After doing that for a while, we burn out. That is when the deeper inquiry begins; that is when invisible programming comes visible and is available to be changed.
At risk of being presumptuous, I hazard to guess that the comment above comes from a place of frustration and helplessness with which I am much familiar. We want to do something about the unfolding horror, but what? The jaded activist has an easy rebuttal to any suggested course of action.
Sign a petition? A submissive act that reinforces and validates existing power relationships; a useless exercise in self-righteousness that picks a single fashionable issue from among a million, which, even when the petition succeeds, leaves the system unchanged while lulling us into thinking we’re actually “doing” something.
Donate to an NGO? What, and contribute to the infamous NGO-industrial complex that depends for its very survival on the continuation of the problems it supposedly seeks to solve? And which has grown too cozy with its ostensible opponents in the corporate and political sector?
Join a protest march? Do you mean the permitted kind, which feeds the mainstream media discourse about how wonderful our society is for allowing free speech? Or the spontaneous kind, which is usually crushed before it even begins?
Engage in direct action and civil disobedience? Sure, now you’re going to feed the narrative of a few disgruntled extremists – then go to jail and congratulate yourself on being a martyr for the cause (if only anyone were paying attention.)
Start an organization? Yet another one, you mean, competing for funding, members, and mailing lists with a hundred thousand other organizations?
Buy up threatened rainforests? If only it would be more than a drop in the bucket. If only the government there would allow foreigners to own land. If only illegal loggers cared who owns it. If only something as flimsy as property rights couldn’t be swept away by eminent domain should the government, at the behest of “investors,” decide to develop its “natural resources.”
OK, enough of that. My point in quoting the jaded, burnt-out activist is not to disparage any of the above tactics, all of which, I believe, have their utility. My point is that there are usually no easy answers. Accordingly, it is hard to know whether “doing something about it” is actually doing something about it, or if it merely satisfies an emotional need to believe that one is doing something about it.
Sometimes, whether in our personal lives or in our work as change agents, we come to a point of “I don’t know what to do.” At such a time, to continue going through the motions of previous doing is usually counterproductive. Why? Because the “I don’t know” comes from a realization that whatever I’ve been doing isn’t working, or isn’t working well enough. That is the moment to sit back and ask why.
Part of the process of uncovering why is a phase of hopelessness and despair. It seems that the world will never change, that the powers-that-be are just too powerful, that our efforts will never be enough. After all, look how hard we tried. We gave everything, and still it wasn’t enough. So we fall into helplessness, victimhood, and blame. Maybe it is those other people, those myopic self-interested greedy idiots who just don’t care.
But then, the conscientious person begins to wonder, Is my blame and victim story obscuring something in myself I have been unwilling to see? How have I been sabotaging and limiting myself? What beliefs about change are a product of my indoctrination in this culture and not the truth? How have I been perpetrating by my actions the same things I seek to overthrow? Why is my organization a microcosm of the same dysfunctional system that rules the planet? How is the world mirroring back at me my own inner ecocide and inner oppression? What can change in me, that would allow me to be as effective as those inspiring individuals I so admire?
It is questions like these that launch people on a journey of inner and interpersonal development. (They are not abandoning the cause or indulging in New Age narcissism.) That journey can be scary, for most of us harbor an inner cynic who, echoing the words of my commenter, demand that we do something about it – now! Don’t waste time in moaning or self-reflection. There is no time to waste! Do you know how many trees were cut down while you were reading this essay? Perhaps you recognize that inner monologue, as well as the hortative tactics it mirrors, as an example of a failed approach to change-making, as a subtle echo of the domineering relationship to the Other that has brought society and the planet near to ruin.
I hope, my dear reader, that it is clear that I am not saying, “Don’t take action.” If I am saying anything beyond “I don’t know what to do,” it is to warn against reflexively acting from an urgent need to seem to be doing something. And also, to invite us all to trust the impulse to look inward, to do work on oneself, to accept that by healing the inner dimension of oppression and ecocide, we can become more effective at healing the outer as well. And perhaps sometimes, yes, to moan about the destruction, to let in the grief and the anguish, and especially to be witnessed in it in community.
All of this, surely, can proceed alongside continuing action, but often we require an empty space, a retreat, a time of non-doing in order to deprogram ourselves from old habits. We can trust ourselves to know when that moment has come in life, and also to know when that moment has ended, bringing a shift in perception, a new experience of self, and an expanded awareness of what is possible.

January 31, 2015

Closed doors?

Daily life. So much to learn!
As you can read in the last posts here, those days  I'm thinking a lot about (world)peace. And how to 'get there'.
How I overthink it on a larger scale I see it/ learn in my day to day life.
Working in an organization like Knowmads for example things like this come on our path:
what to do when we get an offer to do business with companies which are often seen as 'bad'?
Some say: 'defenitely a no. Closed doors.'
Others, including me, see it different.
We are all humans after all. Creating all together 'the system'. So. A yes: 'great challenge. Great chance to go into dialogue. Let's see if that is possible!' 
On bigger scale I'm thinking the same:
the government. All bad? 
Or would there be a way to listen to eachother, and..wo knows.. change something
Closed doors. I think it's never a right move. Because we're in this together, aren't we? 
The whole 100%.

January 30, 2015


We know the bankers go with our money and become the rich people on top.
Is it on them, or is it us, who fool us self.
Not a bit, but so incredible much!
Instead of just shouting and screaming 'it is them!' we'd better get up and start doing things radically different.
Or are we depended? 
If we are so, we should shut our mouth.
Or, is it just me who see a bit of hypocricy?

I see the hypocricy in myself.
There is so much to work on, before I can truly say: 'it's them!'
Because I have a choice.
And there are so much better things to choose and do.
How often I choose for not organic stuff because I'm lazy? And what about my bank? I not even dare here to say which one I still use (after many 'tomorrow I will switch to another!')
Shame on me. And not that little.

I see I am responsible and don't do as much I can. I am part of the sickness, the state the world is in..
Let me (and hopefully more and more   
others with me) get well soon.. At least much better..

It's us! 

January 24, 2015

Piece of peace

Years ago I was already chocked by words like this:
'The second world war? Titia, it wasn't that big. Not that many deads as they told you. The holocaust wasn't that terrible. Hitler was not that bad. The books and pictures don't tell you the truth.'

This is what a lot of children (in schools) are being told in arabic countries, and for example east- africa.
Another thing what really shocked me:
"Most important for me in life: on #1= "my country", on #2="my woman" (me) and on  #3= "my children"

Again I'm chocked by the same words when I read 'conspiracy theory' based articles.

Yes. Politics is a crazy game.
But then, again, saying the biggest wrong-doers are *they*?
The core is the money (what rules the world), what makes the main 'evils' (as always) Jews, and especially the zionists?
The holocaust a 'hoax'?

"The holocaust wasn't that bad. What about the wars right now, like for example Syria? You see, all the millions of deads? Where no one seems to care about..You know it's caused by them, like all wars are!'' 
All wars are terrible.
How to compare them.
There is violence.
Why learning children 'the wars VS starts, and they and Israel are 'the devil', are bad.
We may defend ourselves, and kill them'.
Why not 'war, violence in general is bad'?
Why we keep on talking about different countries? What differs us in the core?

I cannot get this.
How can you talk about (world)peace while having the most narrow, rasist views?
Not that I have any trust in politics. Not that I don't know nothing about the Israel-Palestinian conflict and the violence of zionism.
But in the core: violence starts already by having a piece of land, a nation or whatever (even it would be the world) on nr. one. It's hypocrite. We against the rest. We as a country, we as a religion, we as..
To stand for. To fight for.
Violence is something very subtle.
And its seen everywhere.
I cannot grab that it's just *them*. The one percent.

How can you talk about peace while pointing and blaming?

It's the same in daily life.
You cannot have a good time by doing so.
How to have peace then? If there is no peace in yourself, just tons of anger?

There is nothing to stand for than your own inner peace.
Is that too less to stand for?
That doesn't feed the hungry people, and doesn't stop poverty?
*It* (peace) contains all the good (freedom, love, etc.)

In the end it does. It is the factor what makes an end to for example poverty. Because your own peace means indepency what does you make more healthy choises and creating different ways. The point to move from to bring change, wherever.
But it takes the most.
It's the most difficult.
It's easier to stand for your conclusions of course. 'Against *them*'.
Being angry.
Of course we have to see facts.
But it's important to give them the right
 place, and answer them with something totally different. They are not solvable without a radical diffrent approax.
And what I read in so called conspiracy theories, the whole we versus them, it's full with anger and hate. Same 'level'. Same game.

Peace. Nobody can give it but yourself.
And if world is a reflection of ourselves, then how important is it?

I cannot see it intertwining. Anger and peace.
The anger has to do with identifying with victims in for example Palestinian and Syrian children what makes it seem very noble, but no.
It means you forget yourself (what is more easier, I know!)
Seeing your self as not that important.
But your self, in peace (in your core), is THE main piece of the worldpeace.
As important as every single piece!

Important and needed.
For everyone and all around you.
Small scale, big scale.
Now and every single moment.

What a work to do all together!
It's so easy to see the solution 'out there', right?
'It's not me, it's not me! It's them!' 
Or.. 'hey..if the world is us, what about violence in myself, let's work on that?'
And (automaticly) share this in everything you're doing? 

The world. Change.

More and more it's becoming clear for me that the world is us.
The reflection of our inner.
The state.

This in mind, how can we ever really change the world-situation by anything else than 'just' the main focus on our selves?
It isn't that egocentric.
The core is the inner. Not the outer.
All protests and reformations change nothing.
Yes. Things will change. The same will go on and then slighly different. A twist.
Thats not really change when it doesn't come from a change within.

So do we have to focus on all the governments? How terrible bad *they* do?
On all the bad things we see in the outer world and change that? Reform that, curve that?
Or do we all have an enormous 'job' to do: to bring change in ourselves, so a change from within can emerge (wherever we are; in whatever surrounding, workspace, etc.)

With the popular 'conspiracy-theory'-thinking, the 'we-against-them' in mind, does it make sense that we also here focus on the outer in society? On all what goes wrong? On all what those terrible bad guys are doing? All their lies?  How 'devil' (in parentheses!!) they are?
It's so easy.... (and seriously I have to think on nursery school behavior. 'Look, teacher, what they are doing!!')

The 'conspiracy-way- of- thinking' goes in the core about good & bad. The war between. A scene, a world game, between two powers.
This is in no way comparable with 'non-dualistic-way-of-thinking'.
Because what is bad? Does evil exist?
Look in yourself. Your 'bad' thoughts. Do you have to give them a stage and put them in the spotlights (inwardly), so they dissapear because you 'see' them as they are, or..just 'fight' them? 'Saying' they should not be there?
Me I think the first way works.
They'll shrive and go by your own inner light.
So we can see it also in the world.
Accepting (and doing things differently/ changing ourselves) instead of 'fighting' (and in my eyes this is what 'conspiracy theorists' are doing).
In the core for me it doesn't match with my worldview (and thus being). That's why I feel it in my toes and water (this is how we say in in dutch).

Far more difficult than to see the bad-doers is to see yourself. Day by day. Moment by moment. Herefor you don't need necessairily any coaches or self-help books. Even not necessairily yoga-maths.  'Just' your own intelligence (where we'all born with), your own 'power' (=integrity), intention, senses, and a dose of courage.

How things will change then? Not by shouting.
By doing fromout within..

And how you do that, the doing? There is no how. Who do you think can teach you that than yourself? It just goes naturally..


Considering worldpeace:

everytime I think or speak bad about a person, I fail
everytime I make a religion, a country or an opinion* an important factor in how I see a person, I fail
everytime I don't see a person as wholly, I fail

I can shout out how worldpeace is needed, but as long I cannot see clear myself, I fail
Because for worldpeace all of us have to see clear. Or?

Not that 'failing' is 'wrong', but I think it's really important to see your own part in the whole world- situation. It isn't just the worldleaders, or better said the people with power in the back of them.
It's you and me.
Worldpeace starts closeby. In yourself. Nowhere else.
And it's hard work! Moment by moment! It's never 'I saw it, so I'm done.'

*whatever opinion.
So we have to embrace and go with the big destroyers?
No. We can think: 'we do it different'.
Or better: we can jut do it differently.
By shouting out how bad and disgusting *they* are, you don't share a good energy. What means you don't foster worldpeace at all.

January 20, 2015


There is so much hidden racism.
I was totally surprised that there for example also so much racism exist in Africa.
It looks like every country, every tribe,  feels superior.
"We are less dark than them"
"They are less dark, so not the real Africans"
"We have the best tradition", etc.
And so it excist everywhere.
It has a lot to do with tradition.
And proudness.
Proudness of roots.
Feeling yourself deeply part of a tribe, or folk, or country.. (yes, I know, it feels safe to have a home-base)

I'm totally done with it.

You are you.
Part of the whole. Like everyone.

Not more.
Not less.

By saying, "I am a... (fill in your country)", what are you saying?
Without words: your saying "we are different", "there is a barrier, and always will be"
Hooray for nationalism, in all (however small) forms:(

I am happy myself that I'm born in the Netherlands.
A country I don't love.
But a place in the world with lots of freedom and space for things I do love.


I wonder..

Somebody likes to watch tv for hours and hours a day, spending money on luxery tings, etc. The prototype 'consumer'.

Then.. the tv is the problem? The capitalists who make all the luxery stuff?

Or the big hole of not-having-enough in the person it self?

Where to start change? In blaming the big capitalists with power, or... maybe in your own relationships? Showing people who love to consume that there is more (just inside them)?
It's harder work. To blame is more easier. To show another way of relating, living and working..yes.. it's slow. Changes are not always directly visible.
But personally I think that is the only way.

Showing off mean you take your own complete responsibility.
That you say: "it's me."
"In me also there is a lot of hypocricy. Let me work on that. Moment by moment. Because that is what the world needs."

Radical honesty to the core.

January 19, 2015


While overthinking my last post during this day, I found out I really want to share some more about 'intelligence' .
For me intelligence is the 'living intelligence'.
It's the order in nature, the wholeness in everything what excist. The thing we cannot understand.
The thing nobody can explain.

If we have an Orwelian kind of world in mind and we are scared for a new world order what will totally ruin life on earth, what.. does this anxiety say about this Intelligence?
That people have everything in their hands?
That it's stronger than the Intelligence?
You can go with Orwell and see a living hell as possible future (in case we do not change). This thought/ conclusion will influence everything you do.

I go with Life. 
With all it's greatness. With all it's changes (moment by moment, small things which influences everything ~the butterfly effect). No black/white. No straight lines. No conclusions. Just an wide ocean of openess.
It will also influence me in everything I do.
It also means that I don't know about a future.
And I am fine with it.
To live is not search hope/trust in anything (outside).
Life IS hope/trust.
Trust and anxiety don't go together..

January 18, 2015

Learning/ Openess

Another little piece on 'learning'.

'Learning' is for me the same as 'living'.
How can you stop to (un)learn?
How can you ever say "I know it. I'm there."?

This time I hear a lot of talking in this kind of way:
"can't you see how the system is fooling us? Manipulating us? Brainwashing us?"
They go on and on.
Proof after proof. Blaim after blaim.

In my eyes you can stop pointing after a while.
When you know you can't build on politicians, you can focus on yourself. And other ways. Doing things differently.
Unlearn. Because also you are conditioned by the system in which we grew up.
And about the manipulating and the brainwashing part: I would rather point to the fact that each of us has it in their own hands.
That it's on us to let our selves being lied to. 
It's on the each of us how we honour life.
What we do with it. Moment by moment. Constantly (even it's on the surface) shouting and blaming the people with power? (It seems for me not that intelligent, and a waste of energy)
Or using our energy to teach and show eachother what could work better, peer to peer, horizontally?

If you build on any authority you are a manipulator yourself.
And what is authorotity?
Not only the state, the politics.
No. It's also having a belief (yes.., any, not only in the 'religious' sense).
It's also treating words and mental images as facts.
It's also creating an image about one's self or another.
It's also the authority of parents, of teachers, of guru's, and all those who "know".

The moment you follow somebody you are making yourself an idiot (dull) and the one you follow also an idiot. Because you both stopped learning.
So, I wonder: are we, in our day to day lives, using our minds to their highest capacity, or are we just slowing down? How many conclusions we have, although they look very noble, idealistic and right?

When we want to create a just and intelligent society, I think we also have to rethink the thing 'manipulation' and 'brainwashing'.
It's us.
Not them.

There is nothing to brainwash if we live more fully.
And act more fully.
If we stop following and copying any one, or anything.
Stop making conclusions, how small they are.
And start to invite people working differently.
Any conclusion is a closed door to this.

For me you can only learn in openess..

Open like the child'eyes.

January 16, 2015

My view. My world.

'Seeing' is something very integral.
What you see hasn't only to do with your eyes.
Everything of your body is included.
How utterly wonder-ful the body is. All cells working together.
Nerves, brain, heart,..all and everything one.

A worldview is also totally personal.
I don't understand that people can take simply other peoples views. 

This time I read now and then something of well-known people in the field of -what is called- conspiracy theories.
I hear a lot of (terrible) facts (which are good to know indeed), but next to that also also a lot of totally personal views, shared and seen as 'thruth'.
By others taken as 'the truth' too. Because the fact this person (f.e. David Icke) shares a lot of worthful news, all he says seems to be very interesting, trustful and worth to be build on. I see some people really start to believe all what is shared. Like he would be a prophet.

I don't get that. While talking about sheeple and 'awoken' people, this seemly 'awoken' people just copy/paste a worldview from someone else. And easily copy/paste (and print) a sense of fear (for a new world order/ Orwelian world) in their cells. And this fear influences everything in the bodies (very subtle).
Their world seem to become more dark-coloured. What they also spread and attrack (without knowing). 

What if you compare the world with the following:
You're a 5 years old kid (me myself I go some years back in time)
You have a good childhood.
Everything is peaceful.
On a beautiful summer afternoon you're playing in the sand.
With your classmates.
You really enjoy the playing. And the surrounding. Just everything.
But then..
Two of your mates become very anoing.
Really disturbing.
They destroy all the beautiful sandcastles.
They become jealous, greedy and agressive.
They distract themelves from the group.

What to do?

What you do then as a kid?

You still see the world around as a paradise.
Because you are peace. You stay in peace.

You saw those two kids didn't want to speak.
Because they seemed to enjoy their destructive game.
Then you, all together, went somewhere else. Leaving the two behind.
And you held the good mood.
Playing. Loving 'what is'.

It helped.
The two didn't got any attention.
So it didn't work for them.

What if we see the two kids as 'the 1%'? The people with bad intention, maybe even wanting to have all control.
What if we really see them as kids who are playing another game?
In real life far more serious. Terrible. Horrible. Terryifying. I agree. But still..

What if we just say to eachother: 'let them'.
Thinking: 'our world (= our worldview) is beautiful, and we don't let them change that.
It cannot be changed (or destroyed) even because it is something internal (peace).'Truth (inner peace) can never wither.
To be afraid of 'evil' and anxity about a new 'world order' rejects this. The two  cannot be combined. 
Where there is fear (and all of the ones who talk about a new order seem to have it strongly) there is no love.

The two (or 1%) have destructive plans.
But what if we state 'innerpeace' high above everything else and as not-being-able-to-destroid-by-anyone?
What if we play by our own rules and just 'let them'?
No attention.
Just (and that takes constantly personal work by each one of us) staying in peace.
Right actions (co-creating the other game) would come out of that.

As I had when I was the little kid in the playyard, still this is my worldview.
I see the world as beautiful.
Nothing scares me.
I see peace as the highest.

Playing with and in a high frequency.

Yes. The world can be destroyed.
Who knows.
Then the two childs 'won'.
But I don't thinks so.
Life is SO enormously intelligent (beyond our knowing).
And the inner is stronger than the outer.

The inner, the Lively thing inside us all, I think will remain.
I don't know.
And not have to know.

Trying to find out how Life works? Looking for all the 'sacred' sectrets of the Universe?

Trying to stop negativity (of the two)? How?
Attention makes it more interesting for them.

Play on.
In a natural 'state'.
Be there for the ones who are hurt (by the two).
And let them play with you.
Always thinking and acting inclusive.

A childish, naive worldview?

But -at least- it's mine..!

Here I will store some links.
The first one: a reaction on the film "Thrive''.
After watching it, some years ago,  my first 'guts-feeling' was also :'no'. There are some facts in it we should know indeed, and some beautiful things, but the underlying thing...nĂ³! 
I agree more with the author of this review.

Similar is my view on the Venus project. 
Links will follow...

Can we externalize? 
Like what I said: in my eyes no.
It is us. You. Me.
Not te 'bad man' (read the I% or the 2 classmates)
That's why all the energy of all cons. theories lead nowhere (in my eyes) and are waste. Some facts, yes, needed. But the rest... What is the reason? Also creating fear? 

December 7, 2014


Simplicity means for me also the following:

coming to a point that you know for yourself the answer.
That the answer is always love.
To whatever question.
To big life questions like why the earth is in this miserable state or why there is so much greed in the world, to small questions in daily life.

When you once dived deep in a such a question, a question of  'why-the-hell do people such things?' and you came to an answer, this answer will stay.

An insight stays.
Than you know. What makes that you don't have to make your braincells comletely tired by every chocking fact of un-humanity.
Or by all the small daily issues.

Not that it doesn't mind you.
You just know what to do.. or let.

It gives a rest.

Action fromout a rest is, as I see it, more fruitful than from anger/ frustration. It also gives you more good energy. The energy what's needed for changing things..

November 23, 2014

To the sensitive ones

'Do not be ashamed of your sensitivity!
It has brought you many riches.

You see what others cannot see,
Feel what others are ashamed to feel.

You are more open, less numb.
You find it harder to turn a blind eye.

You have not closed your heart,
in spite of everything.

You are able to hold 
the most intense highs
and the darkest lows 
in your loving embrace.

(You know that neither define you.
Everything passes through.
You are a cosmic vessel.)

Celebrate your sensitivity!
It has kept you flexible and open.

You have remained close to wonder. 
And awareness burns brightly in you.

Don't compare yourself with others.
Don't expect them to understand.

But teach them:
It’s okay to feel, deeply.
It’s okay to not know. 
It’s okay to play 
on the raw edge of life.

Life may seem ‘harder’ for you at times,
And often you are close to overwhelm.

But it’s harder still 
to repress your overwhelming gifts.

Sensitive ones, 
Bring some gentleness into this weary world!

Shine on with courageous sensitivity!

You are the light bearers!'

- Jeff Foster

October 31, 2014


October 23, 2014


Attachment and pain are related. I can see that.
You experience something beautiful, loose it (or be afraid to loose it) and then there is pain. 'Cause you helt on to the experience it gave you.
So, 'be not attached', like you often hear or read.
Ansd it seems right.

You're a mother or father of two children. And the SS decides you to choose who of them has to go first into the gas chambers (like in the movie 'Sophies' choice')
Than you inwardly die.

Imagine. You see  t h e  love of your life be in another intimate relationship.
Without knowing, so you find out he/ she hided something (what's the hardest fact, because you were sure you both told eachother all important things.You were sure about that because that's what friends do, so at least lovers, so for sure when you're in a great relationship)
I can imagine.
You would die.

Does this pain come from attachment?
I'm not sure.
I also see that it is a reaction on something so totally unnatural.
So unbearable to accept.
In this situation every cell shouts out: 'no!!'
And it feels that your life flees out.
Out of every cell.
Knocked down.
No.No. Far more than knocked down. Stabbed with a knife. A knife as sharp as can be. In your most 'you'. 
Stabbed, stabbed and stabbed.
Right into your heart, deep inside your true being (trust, freedom, love, your 'natural state'). 
Mistreated in such an unhuman way...

You die.
Although you had a strong knowing/ believe that 'Life is good'.
Because you shared love and knew how naturally it felt, and that it felt it was mentioned to be (always), like a mother/ father and a child, where this connection naturally excist. 

Mother, you shouldn't be naturally attach to your children?
(Wo)man you shouldn't naturally attach to the soul you deeply feel connected with like it was a part of you?
You should not be attached to the fact 'Life (love) is always right?'

Are you always possible to be in control of attachment?
Do you always have the choice to not being hurt, to do not let emotions take over you? 
To be balanced in every situation?
To take everything 'as it is'?
Not any natural attachment at all?

There is pain and there is pain. We cannot deny it. There simply is, I think it's part of being human.
What to do with it?
I guess nothing more than accept it's there and be kind to yourself...and, like always 
just true to yourself (feelings included).
Nobody to heal it than yourself,'cause only you know how deep you're wounded.

All best with it! 'Cause I know we'all deeply suffer sometimes.
We'all can come through, even it can be a long way, as long there is (self)love/ (self)care..
A whole lot of care..
A whole, whole, whole....

Good Food

Good food for thought:

Conflict between the opposites - whether it is the left or the right, between capital and labour, between God and Devil, is non-existent: because, there is only one thing, 'what is': and any movement away from 'what is' is stupidity. Therefore, the conflict has no significance. ~ J.Krishnamurti

Good to start my day with.
'What is', nothing more, nothing less..
Delicious food for my 'research' in 'change making'/ activism/ creating a better world. Often a conflict lies beneath action, and is the ground where to build on. 
Mmm..., interesting!

Wheel of cocreation

Barbara Marx Hubbard on the wheel of cocreation.

October 22, 2014


'Intelligence' we often relate only with 'mind'.
Me, I do not.
Also we hear sometimes: ' The intelligence of the heart. Wisdom of the heart.'
So, something devided. Two views.

Me, myself, I think 'intelligence' is when you use your whole body wisely. Using the brain to give things it's right place, and transform everything by using the heart.
Using everything.
That's for me 'intelligence'.

The mind as a tool. Serving your centre. As the heart is defenetely our centre. The first part of the body what evolved after conception. 

Intelligence is 'wholeness', in my eyes.
Everything included, everything it's place.    
Nothing 'thrown away'. Not mind. Not heart.
Seeing them both as what they are, interplaying together.
Great tunes! Fat beat;)

October 19, 2014


Ceinturies ago we led the landowners, the elite, own the land.
After it it became the governments'/the big companies', the states'...
Roughly said.

As we believed in hierarchy (for example the churches, the priests above us) we excepted the land was theirs. It was clear. And still it looks we just accept.

A handful of people own a country, and rent it out (very roughly said, again)
We are able to live on it, as long we pay.

So painfull.
Because none of us own the land.
How do we dare to think so?
What a pride! 

We may live on it, we may care for it. What a gift! 
Like children. Not yours. But you may care.

When all this greed started?
And how it's possible we all play in this same game for centuries and centuries?
How we' all together, like silly sheep, let the others decide what to do?
Monsanto and it's destroyment what goes so unbelieveble far is one of the million examples..

Personally I don't have much with property.
What I 'own'? And don't wanna loose?
Life/ Love...

I know I'm fortunately not the only one who thinks like this.
And I'm very curious where this "new thinking" will lead to.
Not a new - isme.
As we see all the 'isme-'s 'failed.
A growth in 'thriving communities'?
Local, sharing, collaborating?
And... together cocreating towards what our hearts "know"?

I'm in!

Alchemy of Change

It is so simple.
Love heals. We all know that.
Proven also.

The world (our society) needs to be healed.
So clear.
So, the answer: love.
Love in everything we do..

Do we need to do more research?
For me it's clear and simple..

True to that.
Means: changing things by that.


Eventhough I have a strong feeling that 'tradition' is old and narrow-minded, that patriotism is a form of deviding (in stead of uniting), I have a strong love for 'folklore'.
A very oppposite thing, right?

I was wondering why.

I love things made by hand. With attention. With care.
I love natural materials.
I love authenticity.
It also has to do with power-to-the -people. The thing 'we can make it our own, and don't need factories', with the insight the way we lived the last centuries lead to nowhere, and that we need to make a change. Ourselves.
It has to do with 'self-responsibility'.
And a love for colours. And 'purity'. And 'simplicity'.

But. A big 'but'.
How more beautiful for me, and better it feels, when those folkloric styles are mixed.
For me a methapor for: let's live together, as one 'tribe'.
Not thighted by old (family) traditions, but grew up by stepping out (able to think by ourselves) and able to live together..
One land (the earth), for which we show care..

Collective Meaning

Interested  in the so called 'collaborative economy'? A nice read is this;  Recreating collective Meaning.

October 17, 2014

One tribe

Yes, I think that's a natural and healthy answer.

The small= beautiful movement in combination with the bounding fact of the internet. Local- but in the same time planetary focussed.

Common-based, and open to the world for all kind of co-operation.
Community, but without narrow-thinking.
Sharing with the rest of the world.
Caring for the whole world.
Why thinking in boundaries, in countries, in tribes, in ethnical backbrounds?
Does our background define us?
This is the very root of rascism.
I am... (this or that), what means you aren't... (this or that)

No. Our background doesn't define us. We are not our tradition. Not in my eyes.
We are far more than that.

Hopefully we go toward one 'tribe'.
Without anything that devide us.

'I'm Dutch'. 'I'm Frisian'. 'I'm Bolivian'. 'I'm Russian. I'm Kurdisch'. 'I'm Eritrean.'
What does it say?

Nothing. Nothing more than a history*.

I'm a Human.
Rooted, like every human, in the earth and the universe.
We are and we share all the same.
What about the thing called love. Makes it any distinction? So, why should we do? 
Doesn't it learn us that it's all 'crapp', human-made crapp? Without any use, only than war?

I'm happy more and more people have this as a way they live. Passport -less, free and without a home-base country.
Why? Because they walk their talk, and they feel human above all. Boundries? Nationalities? They don't excist in their view, so they also don't see them/ want them.
Pavlik Elf for example shows us how to live like that. Working on several common-based projects. In several countries. And he has a 'rich' life, even without money.
He shows us a new way.
We'all could go question our believes.. 'Am I a Dutchman?' ' an Ethiopian'? 'a German'? ' a Bulgarian' ? Because my parents were? Because I'm proud** on my history and roots?
Are those my real roots?
Are those historical roots the real roots of the people around me?

Or are we actually the same?
Nothing more and less than... the same?

Let's cocreate. That means working fromout openess.
Caring for the whole.

*history. History means: not fresh, not new, not alive. Sentiment.

**proud? Please think some deeper...., and do some deep research in the thing called 'racism'.

Pippi #2

In dutch..
So I placed it here.


Sometimes I really struggle with my english grammar, and through that having the feeling I cannot really express myself the way I like it.
That's why I made another page here, where I just write in dutch. 

September 20, 2014

Simple is different than easy

While walking in 'the IndianSummer-sun' today, I felt so good and was thinking: "the world/ Life is so great in all its complexity. And both in its simplicity.
And wow, doesn't that actually mean that complexity = simplicity?"

"All its greatness (for example the fact we simply cannot imagine how incredible large the universe is) compared with for example the perfectness of a human cell.
Or the incredible beauty of a little leaf.
The complexity in daily life (how things go) compared with the simplicity of totally loving a cup of tea in the morning sun, or just walking in the sun."

And a quote came up.
"Simple is different than easy",
which I read this week in my facebook- timeline (thanks, Bert van Lamoen, and it shows myself again the good thing (the sharing, the chance to inspire eachother) of social media).

It's not easy to 'just' enjoy the sun (or rain).
Or 'just' a cup of tea.
Or 'just' the wind in your face.
It's not easy to live in the moment.
To see. To hear.
Much easier it's to let yourself go in gossip. In somebody else's point of view. In somebody else's opinion.  In fear. In the world-chaos. In the stream of problems. In statements. In the mess.

Simpleness. Doesn't it  mean ('just') staying in your centre?

Your 'true roots'.
Where it's silent.
Where it's neutral.
Where there is a constance.
Your own 'order' in the chaos.
The simplicity= complexity- state.
The big = the small and honouring that- state.
Your 'real being'.
From where-out you'll transform (your) daily life.

With awe in all the 'just'..., in all the little moments..

September 13, 2014


Pierre Bonnard - The Open Window
'Positive thinking'.
I don't know exactly why, but I have doubts about this, like I have with for example 'the Secret' and 'the Law of Attraction'.

In my eyes it's far not the whole picture.

There is a layer beneath, I think.

In the core it isn't about 'thoughts' (what's still mind)
So, when people want to create the life they are dreaming of and use the "think positive &  the power of  affirmations- tool", they still give focus to the mind.

For me the 'power' doesn't lay in 1] focus, and not in 2] mind.

The power of the heart is stronger (in my eyes).
That's where your intentions laying.
And those are the ones who direct, even though I don't think I can say it that unsubtle. It's such a very, very subtle (and by nobody to explain--> excuse me 'Law of Attraction'/ 'the Secret' fans and many modern 'spiritual teachers'-followers) interaction!

The Law of Attraction a law of nature?
I doubt (as you see).
For me it's nothing more than an explaination.
But not complete (what's never possible).

Positive thinking.
'You are what you're thinking'.
This is all 'mind', isn't it?
Focusing on positiveness means: focussing.
And what is focussing?
It isn't attention for the whole.

Attention is.

In my eyes it's all about 'being'. Not about 'thinking' and 'focussing'.
Focussing isn't my way.

'Being' is a continue (yes, second by second) research on what's 'right','truth' 'good' and 'meaningful'. And skipping (by seeing trough) the rest, the 'false', the ballast (an integral process; heart, mind, etc, everything included)

Then there is space, and is 'good' (where we all surrounded with) able to shine in!

Putting a lot of effort (what's not really how it goes in nature, does it?) in attracting or 'just' open your windows (by throwing off what isn't truth)?
The first is good to sell, and maybe easier to do, but the second...
...everything and all and neverending!

It's possible, students who 'own' their school and program

August 19, 2014

XTC (the most healthy)

How is this intense silence to come about?

K: Who puts this question? Is the question put by the mind that chatters, the mind that has so much knowledge and it has learned a new thing, which is 'I can see only clearly when I'm quiet, therefore I must be quiet!' Then it says 'How am I to be quiet?'
Surely, such a question is wrong in itself. The moment you ask the 'how' you are looking for a system and therefore destroying the very thing you are enquiring into, which is that the mind can be completely still, not mechanical, not forced, not compelled to be quiet and therefore such a mind, extraordinarily active, sensitive, alert.
So, when you ask the 'how', then there is the division between the observer and the thing observed. So when you see, realize there is no method, no system, no mantras, no teachers, nothing in the world that is going to help you to enquire, but only the seeing of the truth that only the quiet mind can see, then the mind becomes extraordinarily quiet. It's like seeing danger and avoiding it. In the same way seeing that the mind must be completely quiet, it is quiet.
Now the quality of silence matters. You know, a small, little mind can be very quiet, it has a little space in which to be quiet, but that little space with the little quietness is the most ... - you know what it is. But a mind that has limitless space and is therefore quiet and that stillness has no center as the me and the you and therefore the observer and the observed. In that silence there is no observer at all, but only silence. If you have come that far, not through somebody's direction, but that far through self-knowledge, understanding yourself in daily life in your relationships, then you will come to that point, when the mind is completely quiet, not hypnotized. And that quality of quietness has vast space without border and therefore intensely active. The activity of silence is entirely different from the quality of activity which is the self-centered activity. Then, if the mind has gone that far, and really it is not that far, it is always there, if you know how to look, then perhaps that which man has sought throughout the centuries, god, truth, the immeasurable, the nameless, the timeless, then perhaps without your invitation it is there.
Such a man is blessed. There is truth for him and ecstasy.

- Krishnamurti, 4. Public Talk in London, 23rd March 1969

August 11, 2014


A short Modern Love-Story

'Don't be sad, Titia.
There isn't a dream what is over.
Because you don't dream.
You've been there (dreaming, wishing) done that (a lot), but not for longer anymore. 
You don't vizualize a future, do you?
You know Life (as far you can). It is always going different as you think.
You cannot predict It (even when you should have all the superpower, metaypsychical, esoteric and mystical knowledge in the world) because Life has it's own 'intelligence'. 

It's now.

You would love to see something different right now? 

Come on! Could this very moment be more beautiful than it is?

Are you sure? Really, really sure?'

Let me think.. :)
Listening to a romantic song (*snif*) makes me think 'it should be better, much better this 'now''.

But hey! You're dreaming away then!
'That' (your beautiful, 'romantic' vision) isn't the 'now'.
Let's get back to now...

So yep, true.
I cannot be sure.
Now is now.
I see: two people are doing what they are doing.
That's the truth.
They do because..
..they do. 
It couldn't be better than this, now.
Cause it simply IS like this!  

Welcome to the now again, Titia!
Stay there,
there is what everything is.
Where everything lays.
E v e r y t h i n g. 
Even the future! :)

{{{ peace out }}} 

You think I've gone crazy? Hmm, well..,maybe you're right.
But let's not forget: the most intimate relationship we (should) have with..nobody less than ourselves!;)