November 28, 2015

November 16, 2015

Little deep talks

All the bloody happenings this week.

Today Julianna came home telling me
about the one minute silence for Paris at her school.

But, what? Paris? What about Kenya and the Lebanon?
And, not to forget what about.. Syria??
I was in another way shocked again.
There is shown so much more emotions for the people in the city close by. As if they are more 'us'. 
As if we could more identify with them.
But what about for example the daily -yes, the d a i l y- terror in Syria?
With so many deaths.
Day by day.
By day.
By day.. day.
We close our eyes? Too far? Too long- lasting that it doesn't touch us anymore? 
Not shocking enough? Not macabre enough?
Too difficult to understand what's happening over there?
I don't know. But strange it is.

It opened my eyes more.
It's not about those happenings, but what's happening, and what we let happen, every day.
"Terrorism". Let people play out a terrible game..  A game designed by other people than most of us think (if we even think about it..) 
A bit more than normal I'm diving in this scary dark stuff. Brr.. 
Too dark to realize in a way.
But here a video about some of  this darkness, brought clear and really worth seeing.
To be focused on this, to always carry it along with you, isn't healthy.
The 'they are bad and will rule and ruin the world' -modus.
Than half (or more) of our life will be filled with sadness, grief, pain, anger and frustration. But to be more aware of the cruel game is needed I think. 
I was happily surprised I could have a talk with Julianna about it.
So good to see young people think critical, especially when it's your daughter.

The one minute silence.
We felt the same about this.
A lot of question marks arised by both of us. But in a sense that was good, because it made us talk about the world situation and the role of politics and.. brrrr... power. 
We could share our feelings and questions.

Those little deep talks. So worthful; as little lights! 


November 15, 2015

Because I love you

A poem which 'got me' and just like to share..


Words on this blog are just my thoughts.
They are not my opinions.
They are things which keep me busy and which I like to 'throw out'.
It's kind of a monologue with myself, and it feels good in a way to write it down.

No opinions.
I don't have that much opinions.
I'd rather be blanco.

Opinions do have a kind of barrier.
'This is where I stand for'.
What means: 'for real communication you also have to stand for this'.
It excludes.

I hear you thinking: 'but than you're weak! Good, fair things to stand for makes you strong!' As I wouldn't have a backbone.
My answer would be this:

I stand for one thing.
This one thing includes a lot of other things. Or is a lot of other things as it is immeasurable big. 
This one thing is called Life.
Life = Love = Freedom = Openess = Learning = Truth = .. = ..

I stand for Life.
Nothing more, nothing less.
But it's so incredible huge!
I think all little things to stand for are 'nothing' compared to this, as it includes all what's good.

So. All my words here on this blog they aren't opions. They are thoughts of the moment. Opions are something fixed. They do appear as something strong, as something fierce, but... 
not for me. 
We'all know so little. We'all have so much to learn. This requires openess. An openess to the core. 
Opionions and believes withold something. Something subtle. Something subtle what we'all need to learn/ should have more (in my eyes).
So. Where others see people as strong, with clear meaning, statements and opinions I often see a kind of arrogance. What's no strength in my eyes.

No opinions means dulness? That you don't care about the topic?
No. Not at all. But it means taking another place. Not the 'I-know-everything'-place. 

And, again, if you stand for Life in all it's hugeness, you immediately stand for other things. But you don't have to 'raster' it so. You know, all those barriers they may give some clarity to others, but does it invite others to unite? Yes. The people with the same opinions. But don't we have to go further? 

November 14, 2015


Our hearts do have such more stronger  magnetic electric fields than our brains do have..
What means they are stronger.

So.. it's them in 'the end'. 

My thoughts about the terrible bloody battlefield this timespan we're here on earth.. 

Kind of shocked today as many of us are.
Shocked by the (political +non-political) greed/ power/ money game.. - where the misery seems to start and where in we all playing our roles..

Shocked, but still knowing 'the power of the heart is simply the strongest..and the only real power'.
Other powers may kill. May destroy.
There is a power what can't be destroyed and lives through. It's a total different level.. 

If humanity here on earth should have an end, one day, when it would end with a possible total collapse- if so- I think something still will go through on a total different level.
I don't know nothing of course, but for me it's kind of logically. 
It's an invisible force, Life. 
If the visible dies, it won't say everything is destroyed..

So, an end?
How horrible it all looks like, especially on a day like this with all it's horror (several bloody massmurderings around the world)..let's not forget real power. 
What we see is simply not real power. And what is visible for the eye isn't the only reality there is.
Truth - Life, love - is the only thing what's  really real and thus the only 'winner'. 


"To hope to get from point A to point B is to be blind to the infinity of points that have already intervened in and reconfigured the moments along the way. This is the irony of arriving. There is no static linearity, no ontological highway, no ethical reserved area, no Apollonian ferry, that can carry us safely across a predetermined set of points. The journey is never the same and we are never intact. What ‘remains’, and no less troubling, is to improvise, to keep our boundaries porous, to stay with the trouble, to cherish confusion as a resource, to hold our not-knowing as tenaciously as we feel confident about those things we think we’ve figured out. There’s no wrapping one’s head around trouble, especially when trouble is tattooed on our foreheads. Follow your heart – this wild tempest that fornicates with wind and sail and moon and trouble – it is the harbour you seek." 

Bayo Akomolafe

November 12, 2015


'Storms create deeper roots' is a saying.
Let's compare our critical world situation with a storm.
What would be our reel root?
Our ancient forfathers, our tradition, our ancient wisdom? So to say our history?
Or maybe our capacity to go deep into our selves (not our history, not time-wise) and find out we're all the same, dealing all with the same issues.
Roots. To overcome whatever crisis we shouldn't devide ourselves by any difference. We became 'different'  along the way in history. But it's all manmade. 
Is it true? Do we differ in the core? No.
Then why we should pay attention to something what defines us as 'different than you'? (f.e. country, culture, believings, and so on) 
In my eyes they are no real roots.
Real roots in my eyes are our hearts. They don't see difference in any form.

Would this critical situation, this big firestorm, strengthen this capacity to see differently? To stand in life differently, changed the one kind of roots for the other?
You can also see it as 'dwelling in past' (tradition, history, ancient wisdom, culture) versus 'being in the now' (be in your 'own' inner heart wisdom).
The heart doesn't know anything about past, and thus nothing about the difference we created.

Roots. We don't have to dig deep. To go far.
It's here and now! 

We created it. We can change it.

November 10, 2015


"Structural change"- when does this occur?
Something I let my brain work on while sitting in the metro. Underwhile writing it down, here.

When you change a structure?
By influence? No. Then something changes slightly, but it will still be the same structure.
There has to break something.
Die something.*
So there will be space for something fresh.
Something totally different.
Yes. Change is radical.

Things which look bad and horrifying at the first sight may be something very good.

And I have to think on changes which happen in organizations (and where someone can look the bad-one when he/she's actually the 'good') and also in the world itself.
Terrible things happen -as it seem- , but they could be 'healthy' symptoms of a natural dying process. 

Like what's said about love and real passion; that it next to extreme beauty in the same time is dead. Dead. Everything breaking down to the core. The simple, pure heart-core. Truth.

Change. Deadly.

That's exactly what we learn in a deep personal relationship, and in our relation with ourselves, our own precious life. 
Organizations in all sorts and sizes seem to 'work' all the same.
No matter what the scale is! 

'How do you relate (with truth)' seems the one and only counting factor! 

*structal change is thus only possible person by person. Something what changes (new for old; regeneration) whithin. 

November 9, 2015

Network based on deep connections

The following words are from dr.Ervin Laszlo.

"We need to cultivate a mindset of abundance of opportunity for us to live our own calling in life.
We can do this in a network of relationships based on deep and passionate human connections, and a quest to create meaning."

Imagine there would exist a platform where it is about this kind of relationships with such a quest.
A platform not just for information but where everyone wants to create meaningful action. Where people with a same urge can connect and grow together.
Organize differently. With a same quest for meaning and working on something what's much better than the world we see today. A platform what ignites action.

Can you imagine? I can!

November 7, 2015

Do we really?

'Do we really comprehend sustainability?' Good read about sustainability.

Personally I am not afraid of a collapse. If it's so, than it's so.
Good will remain;  I have a big trust in Life.
But..  now when we're as humans (still) alive on this beautiful planet, how can we make the best of it?
And not because it's so good and noble, but just because it is natural: we should (in my eyes) be there for each other. And of course also very natural, we should be there (as she is there for us) for the earth.
Be there the best we can.
That* to do!

*What kind of work? When we truly want to be there for each other ('cause it's simply natural), we'll build different structures to make this possible. Our society's structure now is merely build from out greed. But if we see it's crap (more than, because it causes more harm than is imaginable, and we're kind of tight by it ), and see we all have a huge role in it, our work will automatically, naturally be 'change'.
Work what should be a natural response, by seeing, and by being true to -nothing more than- yourself. But.. I think we can do more when we strengthen each other in this. By cooperating and sharing. Working on a real sharing economy.

No explanation needed

Together we are stronger. That's clear.
What if we'all together should foster all things which are good for life.
All things what makes this world a better world.
Look to the situation in which we're all together. No explanation needed.

Together we can make a huge change in this weird, totally unbalanced reality.

How we change reality?
By listening to another story (than the nowadays 'standard' believes, history, etc.), because this story is false as we see.

It starts with ourselves (don't taking stories and believes for granted, but using our hearts instead), and together we can make a kind of new story-line: that the old one isn't true and we have to make another one, with the message: 'don't believe stories. Don't take things for granted. Question things.Everything.'

We make society ourselves, and we all have the same big role :keeping it like it is or changing it for the better.

It's simple. A new platform, a new network. Where we share, connect and rebuild.The tools are there to give it a try. Why wait?
Instead of working separately on beautiful islands (millions of initiatives) working collaboratively.
Sharing, caring! Just natural. Being there for each other- and the world we live upon! We know we cannot build on the so-called 'leaders', so we could work on something new ; where we can build on each other. Our massive collaborative DIY- project! A real sharing economy.

But what is why if not another what?

This makes really sense to me.
Charles Davies again:)


'Ode' to all people who work on new ways for decision making and real democracy. How great it is that for example Loomio already exist!
There could come a time we'all could raise our voice digitally, weekly for example. The tools are already there!
Now it is about making (new) governments ready to implement it.
And who's work is that? Ours indeed.
How? To show in broadest public those tools work for example..
And that there is something structural wrong in the voting system we are pushed to use nowadays.
We all have our own way of working and we can strengthen each other.
All for more freshness, new buds, instead of all old ways which already have prooven they're not working. #Lemlem

Save cave

Doesn't our society perfectly mirror our own manipulative way of living?

The wars. They almost became 'normal'.
The way we are educated. We take it for granted.
We take all!

We struggle on, earning money to pay our rent, and don't take the time to do something structural. Putting under while our head in the sand.
But if we are real we know something is terrible wrong here.

As long we stay struggling, not saying ' It's enough', we are playing this manipulative game along. Being manipulative players our selves.

I think it's very important to really make this step with billions together. Starting with the intention: 'how it is right now, isn't right. People suffer because we don't stand up'.
To make this decision yourself, deep inside. For no-one than yourself. As a response towards Life. True responsibility. And to stay true to that. True to yourself. The only way.

I know it's happening. But still too less.
We can do more, far more!
Saying it also to myself of course. "You can do more, far, FAR more!"
As long wars are happening it should move us, trying to organize ourselves differently, strengthen each other and the voice we all hear inside: "how it is right now it isn't just at all, and as my own Life is precious- the Life of others is"

To really be there. Not only in our own save cave..

November 6, 2015

About 'healing'

Today I spoke someone who is 'working with energy'. He described what he's doing as plain as possible.
Instead of 'healing' he likes to say his work is 'working with energy', and I like his reason: because everyone is a healer. Because everyone should be his own shaman. It's nothing special. By calling myself (your) 'healer' I put myself on a pedestal. I misuse something, what I don't want.
Who wants to go to a healer? Someone who sees him/herself as a victim. As weak. As a healer you'll attrack people who put their work out of hands.
His work, as he says, is to work on it together. Both in charge.

That, the explanation and showing me 'healing' from out another angle made it 'super' interesting.
I think when working in this field it is extremely difficult not to be manipulative. To misuse the knowledge you have and the techniques you know. But his answer on this was: 'then you'll get it back like a boomerang'.

Next to this I remember also those words:
"Vincent, do you know some plants which are good for wintertime, which work for example anti -flu?'
"Anti-flu? Why anti-flu? Maybe it's better to strengthen the flu because it's a process where in things that don't work been thrown out/ burned. The same when being depressive. A time to take your time to go deep and kick all garbage, all those things which don't serve you, out.. So should we fight it?"
Both they are processes indeed, processes of your precious extremely intelligent body.
Our own enormous strength. The gift called 'Life', what we are.
We should never forget our own healing abilities.    --Be your own healer!--

November 3, 2015

Power to the people

Something in dutch.


To write helps me to stay 'with my self'.

"Yourself? Isn't that very egoistic, selfish, and so a waste of time? We are all one, and you're nothing special aren't you? What is 'self' in the end? Nothing." a small voice could say.

I would answer: " No. We are one in one way. Yes. But in another way we are all ourselves. And how great is that! I want to explore this 'self'. If I don't know it fully (life-long work) I won't do fully what I can. So. This work with myself is worthful. Thanks for your question, little voice. Hear from you soon."

November 2, 2015


If you know power,
but let yourself be the weakest in the world,
you let the whole of life flow through you.
Humble, you open to the world like a channel -
and let the world do what it wants.
And because you let it in unceasingly,
the light of the world shines through you unceasingly.
If you know how to shine,
but let yourself be dull and ordinary,
then the whole world can be seen in you.
Let other people shine.
Be the path people walk on.
Then you'll always be close to the way.
That’s truly exceptional.
If you know how to be exceptional,
but let yourself be mundane and ordinary,
then you can be open to everything.
Be the gutter -
no separation between you and the world,
Whatever life comes to you will be enough.
Become simple.
Simply alive.
Alive in simplicity.
You could get anything you want.
But you're simple.
So you want nothing.

Charles Davies 
Read the rest:

October 31, 2015

Thou shalt.. this: the ten commandments 


On one single day so many people suffer. Many people die.

And, on the same day, we can't take the day as a great gift? A chance to be together, celebrate the day as it is? 
What would all those people wish for?
Just that. To live. Love and celebrate what-is. The beauty we're surrounded with.
And the most of us? 
It seems that it is extremely difficult to be grateful for what we have. The small things, even it's just two people and nothing more (no possessions, no guarantee for anything, just..two hearts).
There is apparently always something missing.
When do we have more than enough by 'just' loving..? Seeing what we have, every single day anew

What is this huge always-missing-something- modus, almost all of us are in? It seems the global 'modus operandus'. People full of life seem to be an exception! 
We have so much 'work' to do. Changing the modus..

Climate. A condition.

Best read today, this piece on Medium by  Marc Chataigner : Climate = Condition

Knowing the Earth climate for its limit, an encompassing body, we may read from these body reactions —rising concentration of greehouse gaz concentration, acidification of the oceans, rising number of extreme events, … — that our current mind set is perhaps unbalanced. Not to say ‘sick’.

Just like we would reasonably prevent psychotic or depressive people to harm themselves by not only treating them with reasoning and logic, I wander if by following this path of ‘somatization’ we may realize that politicizing nature entities is pointless when being done on its own.

Together with politicizing these non-human bodiessomatizing ‘climate’ (i.e. limits) within our bodies (i.e. institutions for instance) might be an interesting way not to be led on the path of hubris.

October 30, 2015


Last weekend I was somewhere and heard the following.
I still remember it, because it 'got me'.

"Hey! Don't think the media will write about a thing like this! You know, the big media owns almost all channels. Don't believe they'll share one word about it!". The man who said it was kind of upset and said it loudly.

Immediately, by someone who almost jumped from his chair, even louder, or say clearer; louder in another way:
"No! Don't say the media!
The media is dead.
You see 'media' everywhere now. Twitter, Facebook and the whole bunch. We became the media."

Six sentences. But important.
For me it was so clearly to hear above all the difference in 'tones', in energy.
The first kind of tired and depressive, the second more fresh and alive.

Indeed. We are the media. We are society.

Reality & Truth

We all know we create reality ourselves.
By our thoughts. Our assumptions. Our believes. Our experiences.
Together: the conditioning.

Does it mean we live in a dream-world?
That when we just dream and imagine a beautiful world we can create it?

I don't think so.

There is reality and there is truth.
And truth is something so unbelievable GREAT..
And it's the underlying *thing* of everything.
It's LIFE.

Every moment we are able to 'peel off' reality till we are *there*.
And  *there* is everything but a 'dream'!
No. Life itself isn't a dream.
Reality, society how it is, is manmade and in a sense 'false'. We can change it. But Life is real. Is truth. No dream.

A dream, our consciousness, is still 'mind'.
How beautifully and peacefully we might dream though, it's still 'mind'.

Truth is different.
Consciousness is given a big role in call it the new age/ hippie movement (sorry I don't have another word, but I hope you'll understand what I mean). By expanding your consciousness (wherein psychedelics/ hallucinogens can make a huge step), the world should change. 'More lovely thoughts, experiences and imaginations, a more lovely world'.

Where is truth in this?
I see this part has to do with 'reality'.

Truth and reality will always be two different things.
Can we get rid of our conditioning (read how we are taught, our believes, etc.)just by creating a beautiful sub-reality, by dreaming? Isn't it a kind of escape? Replacing one for another?

There is work to do. Always. Now,
Peeling off reality, till truth.
It's here, now. Unbelievable GREAT.
To deny it, and just say 'this reality is not just, let's create - using beautiful thoughts- another one' I see we're lacking the most important.

And yes by denying Life itself, the biggest of the biggest- something what doesn't fit in our brain, you simply become depressive.
But to dig, mindful moment by moment, to go for Life, here, now, than you'll experience the opposite.That's what for me the word 'lemlem' means. And I think that creates better circumstances. For yourself, for others. That changes. That changes the world we live in.

I think we only make it better by working from out truth.
A small word for something what's not to put in to words.

Reality; it's the field the self help industry is about. And for example books like 'the Secret'.
It can be very helpful, yes.
And we can affect and change the reality for sure. Better personal circumstances. Another society. 
But still that's on the surface. 

There always will be 'deeper' work to do. In the end it's about truth.
Like 'Bucky' Fuller said: 'in the end it's all about integrity'.
For me 'integitry' means the *thing* inside you what's begging for truth (and where you can listen to).
It's something rather about a kind of constance than the movement of mind/ changing consciousness & reality- work.

Let's compare it with a river.
Truth as the source high on top of the mountain, it just is. Clear. Continuly.
Consciousness/ reality as the flow of the river itself. Less clear. Polluted (read: thoughts etc.)
We can clean up the river, make it beautiful and drinkable (change reality/our world by our thoughts), but we'd better go higher up in the mountains, towards the source..where it's always fresh #lemlem

Being fresh ourselves we won't pollute the river..


I just read something an african leader (forgot the name) once said: 'when you want to have an independent country, you yourself should be independent'.
It made me think. 'When we all want a beautiful world, our world/ we ourselves should be beautiful.
Are we? Are you?
A 100%?
Then, how can we expect the world to be? 
Where do we first have to work on? - neverending work in my eyes- 
Before the second we won't have the first.'

October 29, 2015

Emptiness ruled?

Just a question..
Is it 'money' what rules the world? Money in the hands of people who want to have power?

Of is it a terrible emptiness, the loss of connectedness of people with (their true) nature? That emptiness what makes you a consumer?

Me, I think the latter resulted in the first somehow. And I think we all together brought it to this point.
Ages after ages, generations after generations we made with millions our choices how to live, what ended up here, now.

It was us (and all our forfathers) who choosed for hierarchy. From ancient times till now.
We gave power away.

We didn't choose to live fully ourselves.
Now is the time we become aware of it. Or? - just questioning...

October 28, 2015


So yes, a lot of things in the world are terrible.
Terrible out of balance.

You see it everywhere.

The poverty, and the opposite; the extreme richness.

We know: it's all because of the power.
Who has the power? Who can put everything to their hands? The very rich, yes.
So, conclusion: it's about power. And the misuse like a lot of people would say. The misuse of power. Is that possible? Of power in it's core always misusing something?

Yes. I say the latter.
It's not about the misuse of power. But of power.
Power i s taking from others.
Power i s letting others down.
Power i s pressure.

Let's dive more in the thing called 'power'.
When you get power?
When you give people power?

Simple: when someone (or a group) sees itself as better. As 'more', with whatever reason (in the ancient times for example the leaders found themselves send from god, nowadays often because they have more money, more knowledge, better ideas, or.. whatever..)
When someones feels better than the other the dialogue is gone. There cannot be a talk on the same level anymore. Something very, very subtle and important is gone.
Without this there cannot be total world-peace. How much we would protest even, there simply cannot.
And when do you give power? When you are corrupt. With that word you'll immediately think on politics and big pharmacy, I know. But hey, doesn't corruption in the core mean that you don't take your own responsibility? Your very own responsibility to align heart, mind and hands. And that's a lot of work! What most of us fail to do. Because it's the hardest. Than, being corrupt, you won't do what you actually have to do.

So do you think this power issue is just something of the very riches?
No. There you see it with a magnifying-glass .
It is everywhere.

It is the subtle feeling of feeling yourself better than someone else.
That you think you'll have a say about someone else.
Or to think for someone else (what's not your business,'cause they're living there own lives).
You think you may suppress in a way (like a lot of parents and teachers do).

You got my point?
We are like the world-powers.
It's not just them.
It's us.


What does commitment mean for me?

That I in the first place always commit to myself.
My heart and my own feelings. Committed to my own precious learning process called life.
Knowing it's in my own hands, this process. I take the lead. By listening to my own compass.

Second. I can resonate with someone, or an organization.
My commitment then has to do again everything with this first commitment.
When I don't follow my own compass, I am not myself, and not true committed to anything at all.

So please. Let me be me.
Thank you.

Ethics - Being

Julianna had to write an essay, an argumentation, about Aristotle. I helped. And we wrote one. Okay. Mainly me. She was lucky. But after that I didn't stand for it at all.
Kind of funny, because it was a strong argumentation for 'being ethic'.

Ethics. Something what was very important in my life. Maybe also because it played a role in how I'm raised.

One of the things we wrote down:' Aristotle teached you should live by virtues'.

What implies: I want to live good for the good of all (very noble indeed).
'If we all do that the world becomes a better world.' But is that true (like Byron Katie would say)?
'I want to make this world a better world'. Nine words really interesting to dive into.

Doing good.

It triggers me. It attracts me, and that's why I did my kind of personal research after it. For many years.

Doing good for a goal means doing no good at all.
Very controversial, right? I know. And I know many won't understand how I mean it.

Doing good should be a natural result. Of doing right.
But how do you do right?
That's a big question.
By following virtues, values? The kind of rules we all made together through the history?
Than you are a good person?
Hmm.. it does me think on the Pharisees in the Bible.

No Julianna, I don't want you to be a righteous,decent person.
I want you to be a true person.
And how you stay that?
To always stay in close contact with yourself. What you feel what's true and false.
Not because a standard (ethic values).
No. Because you feel so. Because it's something inside you. Your heart what's speaking.

Just listen.

Those words of Marianne Williamson in this video (see link) do suit what I mean..
Especially the words where she says we should lay down those soft voices we hear deep within, in wherever field we're working.

It's about listening (to yourself), not about following 'rules'/ values (how good they may seem though!).
When you listen, only then there is passion..

Marianne Williamson at the 2015 Parliament of the World’s Reli...FULL BODY CHILLS.“Living a meaningful life is not a popularity contest. If what you’re saying is always getting applause, you’re probably not yet doing the right stuff.” — Marianne Williamson
Posted by Jordan Bach on Sunday, October 25, 2015

October 26, 2015


Nothingness is all!

Maybe that's why I have difficulties with something I see so much around. 'I am this, I am that', 'I am doing this, I am doing that'. One job title more pompous than the other, or more 'creative', more 'special'. Or (business) ideas. The one more special than the other.
Often I think by myself: 'uff. Be simple'.

Because where does real creativity come from? From a place what's nothing. A big space of emptiness. Nothingness.
And we? We think we are with our creative things oh-so-special. Something doesn't match then in my eyes!

Highest religion

"After all, to be open to the source of all happiness is the highest religion; but to realize this happiness, you must give right attention to it, as you do to business. The teacher's profession is not a mere routine job, but the expression of beauty and joy, which cannot be measured in terms of achievement and success."

"Education is a vicious circle only when we do not see the importance, the essential necessity above all else, of this supreme happiness."

Jiddu Krishnamurti

The role of the teacher/parent is so extremely important. And how he/she teaches/lives is the most important: it's about bringing over this spark, to express this true happiness. In everything.

October 24, 2015


Good remains.

How could you be afraid something would 'die'?
It only does when it's not true, when it's not about liveliness (#lemlem)

So good relations will remain.
And whatever more what's Good (yes, with a capital), will remain.

It can make you relax.. And trust in what will come after a storm.


We're all the same.

Why we should support Palestine?
I hear this so much. Israel: the bad guys. Palestine: the good guys.
But both Palestines and Israelis are people.
How you can say: ' I stand for humanity' by making difference between people?
I don't say I agree with the politics of Israel. And the mass indoctrination (what we see all around the world, not just there)
But you know, it's politics.
To support one group (the minority) you still activate racism.

Me myself I'd better support all great iniatives of Israelis and Palestines together. They are everywhere, on small scale. They are about seeing each other as human. Rooted in love and mutual respect. In oneness. Not in 'my history' versus 'your history' . Not you - me. But us. Now.

Want to have a stand?
I think we're beyond the thinking of 'countries' and differences.
Me at least.
And I know there are groups in Israel/ Palestina who work also fromout this.

I stand for humanity. Every human counts. Whatever background, under whatever corrupt government they live, and whatever corrupt schooling they have had. 
And I have to think about a student at Knowmads I know. 
He came after being four years in the Israelian army. Where he had been gone through so much. Once he had his weapon close to an Palestine child. But he couldn't fire. Can you imagine what kind of impact this has on his life? To see himself coming this far- one small movement and he was a bloody murderer, just because he was teached so. How often this comes back as a flashback; he himself as the 'bad guy'..
At Knowmads he went through so much pain. It was such a difficult process. How often I heard him scream and cry in the basement. For hours! How much anger he had in him what had to go out.
And he went through. And what he now shares is so incredible worthful! 
A young boy. But so gifted and beautiful.
Yes, he is from Israel. And his government sucks. And how he is drilled in so many ways sucks. 
But that doesn't say  a n y t h i n g  about people who live here.

When we stop making differences?
He is this, she is that (calling them by their country)
It's a lie, created somewhere in history. And we play along.

And in Israel/ Palestine we see the trick several times enlarged.
But this is not just there. It's making people believe they are their country. That they are their history, their tradition. 
That is everywhere.

That's not true..
How can we say: 'one love, one heart', 'worldpeace', 'unconditional love' and things like that when we seperate people by their history? When we judge?

I'm happy that I'm born in 'Frisia' and  the Netherlands. And I am happy for my youth and family. 
No more no less. 
No proudness. Not feeling bounded with whatever or having a kind of deep belonging. I don't want to belong anywhere.

My country is greeeat? My tradition wonderfuuuul? So very proud on my roooots? Proud on the shared history of my family? The frisian/dutch/hungarian blood what runs through my vains?

Those are things which separates us.

I'm me. Living in a beautiful world. I don't  like to see borders and nationalities.
Just: people.
P e o p l e.
H u m a n.

Please see what is -for example- beneath the 'sticker' of the boy I wrote of, who was soldier. 
People could easily give him a sticker 'totally bad'. 
I'm happy Knowmads (and he himself above all) gave him a chance to 'unlearn'.
Change the word 'bad' for beautiful. He is (and also was in his core ) t o t a l l y  beautiful.

Let's think on all people. On both sides.
Supporting just one side? Think twice.. 
Love doesn't see differences.. does it? Let us support iniatives who foster that!

By naming people by there government, race, country or tradition are we ...fair? 
If they do so themselves (conditioned) should we do too? 

October 23, 2015


You may blame me.
We can blame each other.

So many terrible things are going on in the world.
And we, we live happily.

You may blame me for this.
We can blame ourselves.

Whithout laughing, without being happy, real happy* (for being alive) we cannot do anything .
Happiness, true happiness, a flame of gratefulness for the very moment, is in my eyes the only thing what heals, builds, regenerates.

The thing what can change within systems. 

So. You may blame me. You may be angry. And I can be very angry. That we don't do enough to make more change.
That several things still do excist. That people suffer. That there is hunger and all terrible things more. 

Everything changes near. Not with anger towards people and the worldsituation.
It doesn't solve a thing.

How to speak about unconditional love if you just love the 'right ones' (when he/ she does right) and the 'right situation' (when the world is just)?

*real happiness: having a source inside where you can go to. Even if you face hard times, if you feel sad or broken, you can go there. A little oase in yourself.
Sometimes you really need time to go there, and be there..
It's you

For you!

'Mama, do you still write on your blog?'
'Yes, Julianna, I do.'
'And one of the main reasons: I write it all for you! So probably you'll read it when you're older, and get a bit more to know about your little mother. The things which kept her busy.'
'Really? For me? Oh...thank you'.

I was happy for having this little talk.
So.. Julia, maybe you read our words from this morning here again -on a good day!- and maybe you'll get a little flashback.
Curious! How should we live right than?
For me it's good as long we stay learning and sharing! Maybe than we'll be far away from each other. But let's always stay open. No 'opinions' and other barriers about each other. Just open and strong connected as we are right now, and as we've always been..

This words above from Etty Hillesum are also for you. Stay pure and simple..  (by staying connected with your heart) Live simply 'just' by being yourself. Don't wanna become something else please! I (always) remember your birth and how unbelievable beautiful and shiny you were already then..
Oh, and read Etty. Both your mother and grandmother loved her writings. Keep the tradition alive;-) 

Our money

Wow. Here happened something. A round table talk about the money system in the dutch parlement. 
It's in dutch, but you can see it's a very serious talk. I'm moved to see this is possible. If we want.
It is group of people who came together recently, at facebook named 'ons Geld' (our money).

October 22, 2015

October 17, 2015

Where we belong!

Hope we can save the world..


I already shared his article some months ago. But here again a pecha kucha from him. 
Dave Pollard, and why hope isn't a good thing.

October 13, 2015


I already wrote before how important it is for me.
'Knowing' is related with the past. 
It's old. Dusty.
'Learning' is now.
Is fresh, green, lemlem:)
It's movement. 

And with learning I don't mean education.
No. The conversation, the relation you have with yourself. Your 'unlearning'. Your own lessons/ modules to see what is 'false' and what's 'truth'. So freshness remains and grows.

The thing what regenerates. 
And what a great thing: it doesn't cost a cent! 

October 9, 2015

Question everything!


Mutual Aid Network

'Cooperatives around meaning. Pouling recources and support eachother. So we can do what we really want to do.'

October 4, 2015

The Witches

I remember something I was eleven years old, being in Ireland. Together with my two elder brothers I had a holiday hitch-hiking through the country (the first time my parents allowed me to go on holiday without them).
One day on a good moment we had a drink somewhere.
I was enjoying it together with the book I was reading, 'The Witches' by Roald Dahl.
Tom, my eldest brother, was laughing when he saw the title.
'Come Titia, I'll show you two real witches!' and he took me to another table, where two girls were sitting. He just got to know them and he explained me a bit about the thing called 'witchcraft' in what he also was interested pretty much.
I wasn't that impressed. I remember their energy.
The more he was. In the girls. And the kind of darkness they carried with them. I know it always intruiged him. Darkness.

There is black magic. There is white magic (f.e. witchcraft).
Two sides of the same coint.
A coint called manipulation.
Manipulation of the 'now'. Both want to change the 'now'. With techniques, with methods.

In both I personal don't have any interest.
No. The opposite. Every cell in my body sais: false! Don't waste your energy!

A bit more about popular techniques which are used a lot, and *seem* to be good, but are in fact manupilative I'll write soon.
So often good looking things (techniques and such) in the 'self-help industry' are not that fresh (Lemlem) at all

The difficulty called 'Titia'

Something I just wrote in dutch

October 2, 2015

Creation - Manifestation

Creation: It all has to do with.....
...something we don't know.

"What is creation? Not of the painter, or the poet, or the man who makes something out of marble; those are all things manifested. Is there something that is not manifested? Is there something that, because it is not manifested, has no beginning and no end? That which is manifested has a beginning, has an end. We are manifestations. Not of divine something or other, we are the result of thousands of years of so-called evolution, growth, development, and we also come to an end. That which is manifested can always be destroyed, but that which is not has no time. We are asking if there is something beyond all time."

Jiddu Krishnamurti

And some more words from him about creation.
In his eyes it is meditation.
Is it something in the mind.

"Meditation is the emptying of the mind of all the things that the mind has put together. If you do that -perhaps you won't, but it doesn't matter, just listen to this- you will find that there is an extraordinary space in the mind, and that space is freedom. So you must demand freedom at the very beginning, and not just wait, hoping to have it at the end. You must seek out the significance of freedom in your work, in your relationships, in everything that you do. Then you will find that meditation is creation.
Creation is a word that we all use so glibly, so easily. A painter puts on canvas a few colours and gets tremendously excited about it. It is his fulfillment, the means through which he expresses himself; it is his market in which to gain money or reputation and he calls that "creation"! Every writer "creates," and there are schools of "creative" writing, but none of that has anything to do with creation. It is all the conditioned response of a mind that lives in a particular society.
The creation of which I am speaking is something entirely different. It is a mind that is in the state of creation. It may or it may not express that state. Expression has very little value. That state of creation has no cause, and therefore a mind in that state is every moment dying and living and loving and being. The whole of this is meditation." 

October 1, 2015

September 29, 2015

Real learning

There is a great deal to learn about yourself*. It is an endless thing, it is a fascinating thing, and when you learn about yourself from yourself, out of that learning wisdom comes.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

*what only happens when you 'don't know'. With an open, fresh mind; lemlem.

Revolution or Common Sense?

I just read a very, very interesting article. 
On social change. 
And in particular on the subject 'poverty'. 

Some words which really got me were those: 
" What this means for the ordinary person is that it is futile to identify with these misunderstood terms and titles, for it is not principles that are to blame for world problems but only man himself. Thus only man can change, not capitalism or the system, because the system is merely a product of man’s thoughts and actions. The system per se doesn’t exist—only people exist, and yet because the society we have created is so divided and unjust we strangely blame ‘the system’ for our discontentment and unhappiness, which is an erroneous and potentially dangerous conclusion to reach."
As well as those:
"the word revolution breeds the word enemy, which breeds the word against; and the internal attitude of being ‘against’ breeds mental blindness and selfishness in its turn. The psychological counterpart of thinking ‘I’m against you’ is stubbornness, arrogance and violence (whether expressed inwardly or outwardly), and it invariably hardens people’s hearts and leads to fragmentation and conflict, both on an individual and societal level. The word revolution is outdated for the coming era in every respect, and now is the time for a new dispensation based on cooperation, goodwill, sharing and global unity—as well as copious amounts of common sense!
And those:
"By standing in opposition to capitalism or the corrupt system, we are therefore engaging in those old divisive processes that have led to class conflict and social marginalisation over and over again for hundreds of years."

If the world-situation keeps you busy, when 'poverty' touches you deeply, and you feel to give your own response to the situation (responsibility)  then I recommend to read all of it. You can find it here
Not a short article, but truly worth reading.

September 24, 2015

A bridge between two trees

Inviting. It's radical.

Krishnamurti tells about meditation in a total different way.
Total different.

Normally we see meditation as a tool. Or a way, a technique to let us feel better, to make us healthier, to make us more clear, etc.
We use it for the best. For a noble goal (personal health, so a more healthier society).

What Krishnamurti says is your very living, moment by moment should be called meditation.
Meditation and to live is one.
Big words, I hope you have the time to let them sink in.

It's not just something what you do beside..  It's in everything. It is everything.

Meditation in the 'normal' sense, as we know it, implies a goal.
Everyone wants to become more relaxed, unstressed, clearer, 'enlightener' and so on.

In the wanting there lays a lot.
It says you want to go from here to somewhere else (somewhere better, even it's 'for the good').
It's about becoming.
It's about results.

This is not about freedom!
Freedom is: you are already there. It's now.
If you can't take the very moment as it is, to be silent, whatever you do (in yoga clothes or not, in a specific yoga pose or not) you miss the whole point.

The point: it isn't a technique.
The point: to live isn't about techniques, theories and methods.
It's about integrity.
To be that, I think, is to take every moment as it is. Don't want to make it 'this'or 'that'.
In this way you're open, and naturally inviting more freshness, etc. The same thing you want (what means effort) when you're going to a yoga class.
When you're open it can come in.
Inviting without thoughts (thus that means no wishful thinking and law of attraction), but deeper.., with your being.
Keeping the window open so the breeze (the good) can come in.
When you're striving for the good (although it looks so 'smooth' and 'good') your starting-point isn't the right.
It isn't integer.

That's what he says.
Of course we don't have to take it as truth.
But let's explore it..!

September 22, 2015

Believe me!

There can't be people who 'tell you the true story'. Tell you 'how it is'.

It is a story.
Their story.
You can listen and maybe learn something from it. But they cannot say: 'this is the truth'.

It sais (with other words, and often nicely covered): 'believe me'.
And when you are a believer from someone else's worldview, it's actually quite dangerous.

Very dangerous.

Than you've thrown away your own power. You gave yourself away.
Your power to learn, seeing things for yourself.
Your life.
You became a follower.
You walk in other man footsteps.
How silly and how really, really dangerous.
I think it's the base of wars.
Follow other mans views.

Learn from others, I would say, but never take things for granted. Never-ever take someone else's truths (my poor mother,
she already had to explore this in me since I was very young..-thank you mama, for all your patience while I had this eightteen years of practise with you..)

If someone sais so, or you sense it, feel it, be aware...
Don't be mislead.
Always lead yourself.

Everyone has this power! 
Believe me;-)

Pain & Self-care

The 'painbody'.
It doesn't say pain doesn't exist.

There is pain and pain.
Your body can be hurt.
Your heart, being love-sick.
And I guess even your soul. 
Being itched deep as can be. 
In your being.

What is your being? 
And can it be hurt?
As you may believe some guru's you cannot. It should be untouchable.
I doubt.

A mother gives.
A child naturally takes.
But what if you give, as a mother (what means naturally with all you have), someone takes, and after that smash you away like you were nothing?

I can truly imagine that it hurts like hell.
To act fromout this, creating a 'painbody' what overrules everything, 'no'.

But to reject it, wave away that there can't be a deep pain like this, also 'no'.

To feel it...No other way.
What means: self-care...

Good luck everyone, who goes through! 

My domain

I'm very much touched by some words Vanessa Miemis wrote here.
I do so agree!

"I realized that I am the master of my domain.
It's up to me to choose to be in a relationship with it and partnership with it, and to assume responsibility for my health on all levels.

I realized that I do know what it feels when it feels right,
And that no one outside myself, no matter how benevolent or well-intentioned, can know it better than me.

We are born with the capacity to be sovereign beings.

Our world enslaves us.

If we want freedom we have to claim it." 

September 21, 2015

In the middle

"Global issues are typically characterized as an acute mismanagement of resources and power. This is woefully near-sighted. We haven’t drifted into some unfortunate, short-term imbalance of political power. We’re in the middle of a long-term, species-wide readjustment to bridge the enormous gap between the kind of contentious society our stone-age minds have built us, and the kinder, safer society we’ll have when we’ve outgrown them."  - from a great piece I found on 'Raptitude'. Read it here.

September 20, 2015

Another way

Size of the project doesn't matter.
Impact and change; it's all about another way.

It's about how to do it.

The heart involved? Integral? A strong relation as the base?

There is no blueprint for this.
No concept.  No '5 steps- how- to'.

It's about openness.
And everything what 'Life' means: love, learning, relation, trust, freedom, .... and all we can't put in words.

September 18, 2015


It's a way of doing things.
Without a strict clear end-point.

There can be made 'mistakes' along the way.
And how great mistakes are!
Wow. they are things to learn from.

It's all about the relationship.
Does the relation exist to let beauty grow? Do we really see each other?
In opposition of a strict straight-lined agreement where it's all about getting the right 'professional' results.


Isn't it a state that 'Life', the lifelines in you is suppressed?
That it cannot flow, whatever reason it has?

That your dreams, your true being cannot be, hindered by whatever wall?

Often it is a deep meeting with yourself again, and (as many people say) very worth-full.

But having the freedom to be who you are is much better..
So than it's good to explore what those walls are which keep you down. From your way.

There are walls inside your self (habits, particular thoughts, patterns), but also in society. Many!

Being free. It's something I work on, - inner work. That's Life for me, and real work.
And also outer work. Avoiding walls, fostering places where it's about freedom and letting new things emerge.

As I think from out freedom - no pressure-  the good things happen.
The new buds.

September 16, 2015

September 10, 2015

Bigger questions/ hacking the 'sustainable millenium goals'?

Let's ask bigger questions.
How is poverty created?
Who is developing who?
What is the root?

The Rules initiated an ambitious campaign to ‘hack’ the official logic of the Sustainable Development Goals, in which they highlight the true reality of poverty and point the way towards real solutions for a fair and sustainable world.

How Is Poverty Created? #PovertyIsCreated
“Where do poverty and inequality come from? What is the detailed history of past actions and policies that contributed to their rapid ascent in the modern era? When were these patterns accelerated and by whom?”

Who’s Developing Who? #WhosDevelopingWho
“The story of development is often assumed or unstated. What is the role of colonialism in the early stages of Western development? How did the geographic distribution of wealth inequality come into being? What are the functional roles of foreign aid, trade agreements, debt service, and tax evasion in the process of development? And most importantly, who gains and who loses along the way?”

Why Is Growth The Only Answer? #WhyGrowthIsTheOnlyAnswer
“The mantra that “growth is good” has been repeated so often that it has the feel of common sense. Yet we know that GDP rises every time a bomb drops or disaster strikes. Growth, as defined up till now, is more nuanced and complex than this mantra would have us believe. Why must the sole measure of progress be growth (measured in monetary terms)? Who benefits from this story? What alternative stories might be told?”

September 5, 2015

Life is good. Is it?

How can I say 'Life is good', when on the same time people deeply suffer?
HOW can I say that?

It's something often comes back in my mind.

On THIS moment, a lot of people have all kind of different pain and sufferings..
Heartbreaking situations..

This moment when I type this, again tears roll on my cheeks.

But on the other hand:
we are born. In a universe what IS just.
In society justness doesn't rule, but in Life it does.

Society is created.
The terrible world-situation, with all it's victims is created.

Intention is what create.
The inner is stonger than the outer.
The inner creates the outer.
And than I'm not talking about the power of thoughts.
Not about 'the law of attraction'.
No. A deeper level.

That is something so extremely great, that it makes me say (or shout) 'whatever what, Life IS great'.
When we fall in the pain and falseness of the system what is created than we 'play in the same game'.
Seeing ourselves as victims or identify us with them isn't the answer.
It's more easy to do, but I think we should in a way see through it.
Victims aren't helped with angryness and tears.

Another 'game'.
We'all are born with the power to co-create the rules.

Isn't this great?
Absolutely difficult but... great?

Looking at this little boy, we STILL should say it.
I wished we could take him by the hand and show him...
Letting him know that we have the chance to rebuild. Re-grow. That's the meaning of the word 'Lemlem'.
After the 40-years war in Eritrea people sung 'ne-lemlemma': let's 're-green' the country. 
Fresh, blooming..

'Country' we could replace for 'world'.
What starts with 'our world'. 
Our life, how egocentric it may look.

An insight..

Some weeks ago I had a beautiful meeting.
What made it so extremely beautiful for me is that we had a talk with so much space.
A strange opposition.
But I love that; talks with lots of silence.
As in the silence there always is so much!
If silence can be there, than it feels really good for me.
It was also good because the words we used, so the talk we had, brought me to myself.
Something very 'core'.
That's pretty unusual.
Often when you speak with someone you talk about a subject, is it just informative or is it an explanation.

I think a great facilitator/ host can 'handle' this space/ silence. Even more, foster it, stimulate it.
Here lays 'the gold'. Inside!

One of the insights I had that evening I like to share a bit. Try to put it in words.

On a special moment I was back in time.
The subject we talked about (money) brought me there.
It was such a strong flashback that I can get it back very easily now, on every moment I like.
I was around twelve years old.
It was a time I was exploring my self and the world/ universe/ life.
Before the time of high school and adolescence started.
It felt I was in full power.
I felt one with everything (what you seem to loose more when you're not a child anymore). With the whole universe. And felt just strong, felt 'me'.
I was kind of 'fresh'.
Not spoiled/ injured yet by all what would come (yes, what is life too).
The freedom to be without hindering that was in those days quite big.

So what I gained by having that flashback?

For example that I am strong.
I truly be as big (what's not the good word) as the universe.
Circumstances and others makes me often make me feel different.
But: I am that. One with all. No matter what I do, or don't do.
(no matter how others see me and approach me)
Next to that: that the universe, and so also all that I see around me is perfect.
It is what it is, with all it's pain and problems.
Yes, it's easy to say living a good life in a 'rich' country. I know.

About this last last two sentences I like to write a whole blog post itself. It's a big and important subject for me.

But to round this one off:
I am thankful I got a big gift this evening.
A gift through another, from myself to myself:)
Jut a remembrance of a great feeling I had when I was young.
A gift what was laying deep inside me.
Brought on the surface by a sublime colleague.
To let people see their selves during talks. Isn't that a great thing?
Talks with space.., freedom... wow. I'm not a big talker. But such deep talks... I love.

August 16, 2015

Bleeding. Fertile.

Ai-ai, beautiful words of Adebayo Akomolafe again:

"Underneath today’s blackened skies, we are bleeding, but this bleeding isn’t the kind of wound that desires to be cured, bandaged or sanitized away into oblivion. This bleeding is a sign of gushing fertility. It is a ‘menstrual wound’ – without a ‘solution’; and it is a message to slow down, to enter into the dreamy, quiet, slow, orgasmic, ecstatic and visionary embrace of different ways of knowing and seeing. Continuing with the old assumptions about the absoluteness of human agency and the deadness of the world, or the simple Newtonian linearity between ‘cause’ and ‘effect’, or the immediacy of rationality might prove counterproductive to our attempts to address our deepest crises. That’s why perhaps today’s most profound question is ‘how do we find each other?’ How do we reclaim our alliances with the unthinkable and the unsayable? What lies ‘outside’ this pale fragment of modern existence? How do we re-entangle ourselves with the sacredness of life? And there is no final answer to that or fixed resolution. All we have is a working out of ‘the’ question, a realization that entire universes are born in the momentariness of an embrace. Maybe that’s enough. The ‘gift’ we seek isn’t some abstraction floating in a vacuum, awaiting the right expertise. We are the gift – us, in all our mattering, in grief, in joy, in confusion, in awe. Nothing could be more revolutionary, more fertile, than finding the expansiveness that is us, and holding each other in wordless rituals and spontaneous hugs of rapid joy. It may not look like much, but it’s how cosmoses are born. I celebrate your horniness."
Bayo Akomolafe