December 7, 2014


Simplicity means for me also the following:

coming to a point that you know for yourself the answer.
That the answer is always love.
To whatever question.
To big life questions like why the earth is in this miserable state or why there is so much greed in the world, to small questions in daily life.

When you once dived deep in a such a question, a question of  'why-the-hell do people such things?' and you came to an answer, this answer will stay.

An insight stays.
Than you know. What makes that you don't have to make your braincells comletely tired by every chocking fact of un-humanity.
Or by all the small daily issues.

Not that it doesn't mind you.
You just know what to do.. or let.

It gives a rest.

Action fromout a rest is, as I see it, more fruitful than from anger/ frustration. It also gives you more good energy. The energy what's needed for changing things..

November 23, 2014

To the sensitive ones

'Do not be ashamed of your sensitivity!
It has brought you many riches.

You see what others cannot see,
Feel what others are ashamed to feel.

You are more open, less numb.
You find it harder to turn a blind eye.

You have not closed your heart,
in spite of everything.

You are able to hold 
the most intense highs
and the darkest lows 
in your loving embrace.

(You know that neither define you.
Everything passes through.
You are a cosmic vessel.)

Celebrate your sensitivity!
It has kept you flexible and open.

You have remained close to wonder. 
And awareness burns brightly in you.

Don't compare yourself with others.
Don't expect them to understand.

But teach them:
It’s okay to feel, deeply.
It’s okay to not know. 
It’s okay to play 
on the raw edge of life.

Life may seem ‘harder’ for you at times,
And often you are close to overwhelm.

But it’s harder still 
to repress your overwhelming gifts.

Sensitive ones, 
Bring some gentleness into this weary world!

Shine on with courageous sensitivity!

You are the light bearers!'

- Jeff Foster

October 31, 2014


October 23, 2014


Attachment and pain are related. I can see that.
You experience something beautiful, loose it (or be afraid to loose it) and then there is pain. 'Cause you helt on to the experience it gave you.
So, 'be not attached', like you often hear or read.
Ansd it seems right.

You're a mother or father of two children. And the SS decides you to choose who of them has to go first into the gas chambers (like in the movie 'Sophies' choice')
Than you inwardly die.

Imagine. You see  t h e  love of your life be in another intimate relationship.
Without knowing, so you find out he/ she hided something (what's the hardest fact, because you were sure you both told eachother all important things.You were sure about that because that's what friends do, so at least lovers, so for sure when you're in a great relationship)
I can imagine.
You would die.

Does this pain come from attachment?
I'm not sure.
I also see that it is a reaction on something so totally unnatural.
So unbearable to accept.
In this situation every cell shouts out: 'no!!'
And it feels that your life flees out.
Out of every cell.
Knocked down.
No.No. Far more than knocked down. Stabbed with a knife. A knife as sharp as can be. In your most 'you'. 
Stabbed, stabbed and stabbed.
Right into your heart, deep inside your true being (trust, freedom, love, your 'natural state'). 
Mistreated in such an unhuman way...

You die.
Although you had a strong knowing/ believe that 'Life is good'.
Because you shared love and knew how naturally it felt, and that it felt it was mentioned to be (always), like a mother/ father and a child, where this connection naturally excist. 

Mother, you shouldn't be naturally attach to your children?
(Wo)man you shouldn't naturally attach to the soul you deeply feel connected with like it was a part of you?
You should not be attached to the fact 'Life (love) is always right?'

Are you always possible to be in control of attachment?
Do you always have the choice to not being hurt, to do not let emotions take over you? 
To be balanced in every situation?
To take everything 'as it is'?
Not any natural attachment at all?

There is pain and there is pain. We cannot deny it. There simply is, I think it's part of being human.
What to do with it?
I guess nothing more than accept it's there and be kind to yourself...and, like always 
just true to yourself (feelings included).
Nobody to heal it than yourself,'cause only you know how deep you're wounded.

All best with it! 'Cause I know we'all deeply suffer sometimes.
We'all can come through, even it can be a long way, as long there is (self)love/ (self)care..
A whole lot of care..
A whole, whole, whole....

Good Food

Good food for thought:

Conflict between the opposites - whether it is the left or the right, between capital and labour, between God and Devil, is non-existent: because, there is only one thing, 'what is': and any movement away from 'what is' is stupidity. Therefore, the conflict has no significance. ~ J.Krishnamurti

Good to start my day with.
'What is', nothing more, nothing less..
Delicious food for my 'research' in 'change making'/ activism/ creating a better world. Often a conflict lies beneath action, and is the ground where to build on. 
Mmm..., interesting!

Wheel of cocreation

Barbara Marx Hubbard on the wheel of cocreation.

October 22, 2014


'Intelligence' we often relate only with 'mind'.
Me, I do not.
Also we hear sometimes: ' The intelligence of the heart. Wisdom of the heart.'
So, something devided. Two views.

Me, myself, I think 'intelligence' is when you use your whole body wisely. Using the brain to give things it's right place, and transform everything by using the heart.
Using everything.
That's for me 'intelligence'.

The mind as a tool. Serving your centre. As the heart is defenetely our centre. The first part of the body what evolved after conception. 

Intelligence is 'wholeness', in my eyes.
Everything included, everything it's place.    
Nothing 'thrown away'. Not mind. Not heart.
Seeing them both as what they are, interplaying together.
Great tunes! Fat beat;)

October 19, 2014


Ceinturies ago we led the landowners, the elite, own the land.
After it it became the governments'/the big companies', the states'...
Roughly said.

As we believed in hierarchy (for example the churches, the priests above us) we excepted the land was theirs. It was clear. And still it looks we just accept.

A handful of people own a country, and rent it out (very roughly said, again)
We are able to live on it, as long we pay.

So painfull.
Because none of us own the land.
How do we dare to think so?
What a pride! 

We may live on it, we may care for it. What a gift! 
Like children. Not yours. But you may care.

When all this greed started?
And how it's possible we all play in this same game for centuries and centuries?
How we' all together, like silly sheep, let the others decide what to do?
Monsanto and it's destroyment what goes so unbelieveble far is one of the million examples..

Personally I don't have much with property.
What I 'own'? And don't wanna loose?
Life/ Love...

I know I'm fortunately not the only one who thinks like this.
And I'm very curious where this "new thinking" will lead to.
Not a new - isme.
As we see all the 'isme-'s 'failed.
A growth in 'thriving communities'?
Local, sharing, collaborating?
And... together cocreating towards what our hearts "know"?

I'm in!

Alchemy of Change

It is so simple.
Love heals. We all know that.
Proven also.

The world (our society) needs to be healed.
So clear.
So, the answer: love.
Love in everything we do..

Do we need to do more research?
For me it's clear and simple..

True to that.
Means: changing things by that.


Eventhough I have a strong feeling that 'tradition' is old and narrow-minded, that patriotism is a form of deviding (in stead of uniting), I have a strong love for 'folklore'.
A very oppposite thing, right?

I was wondering why.

I love things made by hand. With attention. With care.
I love natural materials.
I love authenticity.
It also has to do with power-to-the -people. The thing 'we can make it our own, and don't need factories', with the insight the way we lived the last centuries lead to nowhere, and that we need to make a change. Ourselves.
It has to do with 'self-responsibility'.
And a love for colours. And 'purity'. And 'simplicity'.

But. A big 'but'.
How more beautiful for me, and better it feels, when those folkloric styles are mixed.
For me a methapor for: let's live together, as one 'tribe'.
Not thighted by old (family) traditions, but grew up by stepping out (able to think by ourselves) and able to live together..
One land (the earth), for which we show care..

Collective Meaning

Interested  in the so called 'collaborative economy'? A nice read is this;  Recreating collective Meaning.

October 17, 2014

One tribe

Yes, I think that's a natural and healthy answer.

The small= beautiful movement in combination with the bounding fact of the internet. Local- but in the same time planetary focussed.

Common-based, and open to the world for all kind of co-operation.
Community, but without narrow-thinking.
Sharing with the rest of the world.
Caring for the whole world.
Why thinking in boundaries, in countries, in tribes, in ethnical backbrounds?
Does our background define us?
This is the very root of rascism.
I am... (this or that), what means you aren't... (this or that)

No. Our background doesn't define us. We are not our tradition. Not in my eyes.
We are far more than that.

Hopefully we go toward one 'tribe'.
Without anything that devide us.

'I'm Dutch'. 'I'm Frisian'. 'I'm Bolivian'. 'I'm Russian. I'm Kurdisch'. 'I'm Eritrean.'
What does it say?

Nothing. Nothing more than a history*.

I'm a Human.
Rooted, like every human, in the earth and the universe.
We are and we share all the same.
What about the thing called love. Makes it any distinction? So, why should we do? 
Doesn't it learn us that it's all 'crapp', human-made crapp? Without any use, only than war?

I'm happy more and more people have this as a way they live. Passport -less, free and without a home-base country.
Why? Because they walk their talk, and they feel human above all. Boundries? Nationalities? They don't excist in their view, so they also don't see them/ want them.
Pavlik Elf for example shows us how to live like that. Working on several common-based projects. In several countries. And he has a 'rich' life, even without money.
He shows us a new way.
We'all could go question our believes.. 'Am I a Dutchman?' ' an Ethiopian'? 'a German'? ' a Bulgarian' ? Because my parents were? Because I'm proud** on my history and roots?
Are those my real roots?
Are those historical roots the real roots of the people around me?

Or are we actually the same?
Nothing more and less than... the same?

Let's cocreate. That means working fromout openess.
Caring for the whole.

*history. History means: not fresh, not new, not alive.

**proud? Please think some deeper...., and do some deep research in the thing called 'racism'.

Pippi #2

In dutch..
So I placed it here.


Sometimes I really struggle with my english grammar, and through that having the feeling I cannot really express myself the way I like it.
That's why I made another page here, where I just write in dutch. 

September 20, 2014

Simple is different than easy

While walking in 'the IndianSummer-sun' today, I felt so good and was thinking: "the world/ Life is so great in all its complexity. And both in its simplicity.
And wow, doesn't that actually mean that complexity = simplicity?"

"All its greatness (for example the fact we simply cannot imagine how incredible large the universe is) compared with for example the perfectness of a human cell.
Or the incredible beauty of a little leaf.
The complexity in daily life (how things go) compared with the simplicity of totally loving a cup of tea in the morning sun, or just walking in the sun."

And a quote came up.
"Simple is different than easy",
which I read this week in my facebook- timeline (thanks, Bert van Lamoen, and it shows myself again the good thing (the sharing, the chance to inspire eachother) of social media).

It's not easy to 'just' enjoy the sun (or rain).
Or 'just' a cup of tea.
Or 'just' the wind in your face.
It's not easy to live in the moment.
To see. To hear.
Much easier it's to let yourself go in gossip. In somebody else's point of view. In somebody else's opinion.  In fear. In the world-chaos. In the stream of problems. In statements. In the mess.

Simpleness. Doesn't it  mean ('just') staying in your centre?

Your 'true roots'.
Where it's silent.
Where it's neutral.
Where there is a constance.
Your own 'order' in the chaos.
The simplicity= complexity- state.
The big = the small and honouring that- state.
Your 'real being'.
From where-out you'll transform (your) daily life.

With awe in all the 'just'..., in all the little moments..

September 13, 2014


Pierre Bonnard - The Open Window
'Positive thinking'.
I don't know exactly why, but I have doubts about this, like I have with for example 'the Secret' and 'the Law of Attraction'.

In my eyes it's far not the whole picture.

There is a layer beneath, I think.

In the core it isn't about 'thoughts' (what's still mind)
So, when people want to create the life they are dreaming of and use the "think positive &  the power of  affirmations- tool", they still give focus to the mind.

For me the 'power' doesn't lay in 1] focus, and not in 2] mind.

The power of the heart is stronger (in my eyes).
That's where your intentions laying.
And those are the ones who direct, even though I don't think I can say it that unsubtle. It's such a very, very subtle (and by nobody to explain--> excuse me 'Law of Attraction'/ 'the Secret' fans and many modern 'spiritual teachers'-followers) interaction!

The Law of Attraction a law of nature?
I doubt (as you see).
For me it's nothing more than an explaination.
But not complete (what's never possible).

Positive thinking.
'You are what you're thinking'.
This is all 'mind', isn't it?
Focusing on positiveness means: focussing.
And what is focussing?
It isn't attention for the whole.

Attention is.

In my eyes it's all about 'being'. Not about 'thinking' and 'focussing'.
Focussing isn't my way.

'Being' is a continue (yes, second by second) research on what's 'right','truth' 'good' and 'meaningful'. And skipping (by seeing trough) the rest, the 'false', the ballast (an integral process; heart, mind, etc, everything included)

Then there is space, and is 'good' (where we all surrounded with) able to shine in!

Putting a lot of effort (what's not really how it goes in nature, does it?) in attracting or 'just' open your windows (by throwing off what isn't truth)?
The first is good to sell, and maybe easier to do, but the second...
...everything and all and neverending!

It's possible, students who 'own' their school and program

August 19, 2014

XTC (the most healthy)

How is this intense silence to come about?

K: Who puts this question? Is the question put by the mind that chatters, the mind that has so much knowledge and it has learned a new thing, which is 'I can see only clearly when I'm quiet, therefore I must be quiet!' Then it says 'How am I to be quiet?'
Surely, such a question is wrong in itself. The moment you ask the 'how' you are looking for a system and therefore destroying the very thing you are enquiring into, which is that the mind can be completely still, not mechanical, not forced, not compelled to be quiet and therefore such a mind, extraordinarily active, sensitive, alert.
So, when you ask the 'how', then there is the division between the observer and the thing observed. So when you see, realize there is no method, no system, no mantras, no teachers, nothing in the world that is going to help you to enquire, but only the seeing of the truth that only the quiet mind can see, then the mind becomes extraordinarily quiet. It's like seeing danger and avoiding it. In the same way seeing that the mind must be completely quiet, it is quiet.
Now the quality of silence matters. You know, a small, little mind can be very quiet, it has a little space in which to be quiet, but that little space with the little quietness is the most ... - you know what it is. But a mind that has limitless space and is therefore quiet and that stillness has no center as the me and the you and therefore the observer and the observed. In that silence there is no observer at all, but only silence. If you have come that far, not through somebody's direction, but that far through self-knowledge, understanding yourself in daily life in your relationships, then you will come to that point, when the mind is completely quiet, not hypnotized. And that quality of quietness has vast space without border and therefore intensely active. The activity of silence is entirely different from the quality of activity which is the self-centered activity. Then, if the mind has gone that far, and really it is not that far, it is always there, if you know how to look, then perhaps that which man has sought throughout the centuries, god, truth, the immeasurable, the nameless, the timeless, then perhaps without your invitation it is there.
Such a man is blessed. There is truth for him and ecstasy.

- Krishnamurti, 4. Public Talk in London, 23rd March 1969

August 11, 2014


A short Modern Love-Story

'Don't be sad, Titia.
There isn't a dream what is over.
Because you don't dream.
You've been there (dreaming, wishing) done that (a lot), but not for longer anymore. 
You don't vizualize a future, do you?
You know Life (as far you can). It is always going different as you think.
You cannot predict It (even when you should have all the superpower, metaypsychical, esoteric and mystical knowledge in the world) because Life has it's own 'intelligence'. 

It's now.

You would love to see something different right now? 

Come on! Could this very moment be more beautiful than it is?

Are you sure? Really, really sure?'

Let me think.. :)
Listening to a romantic song (*snif*) makes me think 'it should be better, much better this 'now''.

But hey! You're dreaming away then!
'That' (your beautiful, 'romantic' vision) isn't the 'now'.
Let's get back to now...

So yep, true.
I cannot be sure.
Now is now.
I see: two people are doing what they are doing.
That's the truth.
They do because..
..they do. 
It couldn't be better than this, now.
Cause it simply IS like this!  

Welcome to the now again, Titia!
Stay there,
there is what everything is.
Where everything lays.
E v e r y t h i n g. 
Even the future! :)

{{{ peace out }}} 

You think I've gone crazy? Hmm, well..,maybe you're right.
But let's not forget: the most intimate relationship we (should) have with..nobody less than ourselves!;)


What a luck we have them.
As good & healthy as laughing.
Just realizing I'm so happy to be human.

Human. Not an angel, alien, a super(wo)man or fairy.
H U M A N.

Why should I behave strong?
Because of others (thinking on Syria for example, or all the others who have it far more difficult) I should deny my own feeling? 
Some things (like feelings) you cannot measure.

You feel it, or not.
It reminds me of the fact that peole who have cancer cannot get fewer.
Like fewer is a good thing for the body (a natural reaction), so emotions are.
That's how I see it..

So, thank you body for let me having them.
I'll cry out, so my pain will naturally go.
I know it will regenerate.
It will be refreshing in the end like nature is after rain.

And it doesn't cost anything!;)
Just some time to go through..,really, really through, and to dive deep.

August 5, 2014

You= Other= World (or?)

How do you treat your body?
With love?
Attention for what goes in? 
And what goes mentally in?
Mentally-wise: when you question everything (is it really truth), you'll be at the 'source' as much as possible and your head will stay 'fresh'. What makes you don't have to put effort (waste of energy) in relaxation excersises and so, or to escape in great pleasant things or trips (using things what on the long term doesn't feed your body).
I think this is intelligence.
First doing good for the whole of you.
Just to mind what you're doing moment by moment, being sceptical, and questioning if something is real truth.
And let that in.

Isn't it one: how we treat our body (+mind)--> how we treat others and the world?

co-operation (fun of being & doing together)

It is no co-operation when you and I work together merely because we have mutually agreed to do something. In any such agreement what is important is the doing of that particular thing, not working together. You and I may agree to build a bridge, or construct a road, or plant some trees together, but in that agreement there is always the fear of disagreement, the fear that I may not do my share and let you do the whole thing.
So it is not co-operation when we work together through any form of inducement, or by mere agreement, because behind all such effort there is the implication of gaining or avoiding something.
To me, co-operation is entirely different. Co-operation is the fun of being and doing together - not necessarily doing something in particular. Do you understand? Young children normally have a feeling for being and doing together. Haven't you noticed this? They will co-operate in anything. There is no question of agreement or disagreement, reward or punishment; they just want to help. They co-operate instinctively, for the fun of being and doing together. But grown-up people destroy this natural, spontaneous spirit of co-operation in children by saying, "If you do this I will give you that; if you don't do this I won't let you go to the cinema", which introduces the corruptive element.
So, real co-operation comes, not through merely agreeing to carry out some project together, but with the joy, the feeling of togetherness, if one may use that word; because in that feeling there is not the obstinacy of personal ideation, personal opinion.
When you know such co-operation, you will also know when not to co-operate, which is equally important. Do you understand? It is necessary for all of us to awaken in ourselves this spirit of co-operation, for then it will not be a mere plan or agreement which causes us to work together, but an extraordinary feeling of togetherness, the sense of joy in being and doing together without any thought of reward or punishment. That is very important. But it is equally important to know when not to co-operate; because if we are not wise we may co-operate with the unwise, with ambitious leaders who have grandiose schemes, fantastic ideas, like Hitler and other tyrants down through the ages. So we must know when not to co-operate; and we can know this only when we know the joy of real co-operation.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

August 3, 2014

Value #1

When I was looking in the mirror those last days I was a bit suprised every time. Thinking 'what have I done?!'
(I've cut of my hair a week ago.
Short. Actually quite short short.)

'Why I did it?' I wondered then.
Also because I heard some people think and say: 'a shame..!'
Hmm..,it was part out of frustration.
Of not being seen who I am (I guess we all 'suffer' from this time to time).
Of having an overdosis of all attention on 'beauty en looks' in society.
Of seeing my daughters combing their hair for hours and hours.

The focus is so often laying 'outside'.
Of course I have also people around me who know me.
But still.. Often there is (in my eyes) too much attention for 'looks'.

Two days ago I attended a workshop on authenticity.
Even though I'm 'working on this' in my own way for so long this evening brought me back to my own 'values' some more. And yes,  after looking in the mirror today, I realized that why I did 'it' had everything to do with one of the values I really keep high.
This was it, what made me do it:
the value of 'inner-work' above all.
'Inner' is the only what counts.
That is my life.
I don't wanna play games or being dishonest to myself (why I should have long hair when short is far more practical and feels better? To look more 'femalish'? To please people?)
I'm Me. Femanine and male energy inside me.
Both equally.
'Looks' never had my interest, and will never have.
What interest me is freedom to 'be yourself'.

To be myself.
This freedom.
Value #1!

July 23, 2014

Giving, getting, earning..

What if you've been treaten harsh in a way?
Does he or she doesn't get your respect anymore because you have the feeling he or she doen't earn it?
Closed doors? No chance for a dialogue anymore?

A flower gives.
Without thinking 'this man I 'll give my scent, but this woman not.'
Just because she IS her gift.
Always giving..

Sometimes for me it's hard to see almost everything in our society (also in so called social businesses or great organistions) is based on comparison. 
There has to be something what is well measurable.
You always have to earn something. Whatever. From the attention from your teacher to in some cases attention from your lover.

Being 'generous' (not that I like that word, and actually it's something very 'ungraspy' this thing I mention and hardly to put in words)
Doesn't that mean being as a flower?
Just giving, to whomever?
And not just with an underlaying 'why' (with a reason) but just 'just'?

'Giving' for me seems almost similar as 'living'.
What you 'have' doesn't that want to flow naturally?

In our society this easily makes you a misfit, when you think like this.
Because what you (should) give has match to the needs of others.
Everyone (for example your colleague, or even your lover) seems to live with expectations and is (conscious or unconscious) asking something of you.
You don't fill their hole, their expectations?
Fail! And you immediately feel less respect.

In my eyes we should learn, so show, our children that it's ALL about their being, and that there is nothing they need to DO in order to be good.
What if they do 'no good'/ harm others, etc. ? Even then there should be a dialogue in my eyes.

Really being seen and heard (always, wherever, whatever). Shouldn't that avoid a lot of trauma in society?
Maybe a key for a more peaceful world? What if we throw away the pedagogy books and keep it simple like this?;)
Seeing eachother. Always. And giving 'full respect*' to Being instead of doing..

*Full respect: an ungoing (life-long) learning, moment by moment. I think nobody can say: 'Í'm there!

July 19, 2014


I go for the natural.., the spiritual..

July 8, 2014

Dreams #3

'Follow your dreams!' 'Have the persistence to reach your goals!'
Why I still get kind of tired of those words? Words it seems I hear and see everywhere this time?

In trying to reach something, something 'further away', do you live fully in the moment?
Are you happy and grateful where you are now?
Dreams.. Something beautiful in the future? Greatness to achieve?
Again I say it here: for me 'dreams' are inside me.
It's the lifeliness what makes me me.
Like the blood running through my veins.
For me 'dreams come true' means able to fully be myself.
Egocentric? I doubt.
It's being free. In peace.
What if we all were?
Wouldn't  that make the beautiful world our hearts know it's possible?
Has 'following dreams' not everything to do with being? Yourself, in close contact with 'the universe' (or what name we want to give with 'that' what's 'Everything')?

For me no utopia, no future to reach.
Just work to do. Here. Now.

Moment by moment.

And in the meantime, who knows, building on this 'utopia'.
A big 'but'.
Without the pain of having 'hardship' of  'crucifieng' and the hope that later when 'dreams are being fulfilled' feeling better.
Like running.
I prefere for example (barefoot-)running in nature rather than the sport-world with its competitions.
Enjoying the process rather than on to reaching something.
Whatever that 'something' may be...
Is it cool to 'give up' in order to 'get'?
We already learn it at school on a early age: you've got to work hard in order to achieve. You have to do to get better.
Me, my mind doesn't work like this.
'Having', being whole already, and being grateful for that, is the startingpoint. Achievements/ results are naturally coming out from that.
Without 'fighting', without hardship.
Playful. With joy.
Competition (wanting to achieve becoming number one, the best) footbal versus the joy of just playing on a summer-evening with your friends..

So, again, in short: for me 'following dreams' and 'achieving goals' means nothing more or less than: Being Yourself. Your true self. With the action fromout that.

Effort and flow are two totally different things.
They don't go together.
For me, living has more to do with the latter.
Effort means reaching, means striving.
Flow means being, mindful, in the moment, grateful.
Action fromout that, than I 'live my dream'. 

June 15, 2014

My dream.. a big one.
It starts here, and is open ended:
that I (yes, 'I', and that may look very egocentric) may be as healthy as possible. Clear in my mind, my heart as centre to act from, and my hands busy (so to say).
Yes, my dream is moment by moment a healthy me. I understand a healthy me is the biggest I can give in our co-creating process towards a healthier world. No doubt 'creating a healthy world' is absolutely not in hands of the so called leaders, but in the hands of all of us, and so I'm aware I have the most responsible job on earth*.
My dream is to be as healthy as possible, to 'do' this job as good as possible.
My own health (moment by moment) on nr. one makes the dream a narrative, a big open space...Life in all it's greatness, in togetherness with so many collegues**

Where my dream ends? 
Has it an end?

* + ** we're all collegues, as we all have this same job!

June 10, 2014


This weekend I somehow saw (more than I normally do) what judgment is.
Even more than on other days I felt what others were saying..
If you notice, people are judging the whole day through.
In the way 'I know it better than you' but also in the way of making compliments, putting a sticker 'nice' or 'good' on someone or something. This is in my eyes a subtle way of judging too.
It's 'knowing' something of the other. But hey, are we sure we know that much?
Really? Are you really sure?
More than ever, it makes me tired.
Personal beliefs, personal flavors mingled with emotions, it also builds walls.
It stands in the way of just talking from the heart. Of talking about what matters.
This is so, that is so...
Making statements, how small they may be.
Is it? Is it true what you're saying? Please, get to the point..
We're all..more than ANY sticker, even the so called 'positive' ones.

Just have to say...
tired from it.
Very, very tired.

Maybe I had an overdosis of it, this weekend.., being away from my 'own habitat'.
Talking and listening to much about others.. it is something I have strong difficulties with..
I like to have a lot of silence in my life, and during the day.
The space where Rumi talks about, I guess.
We can meet eachother there, in the non judgmental space..
Me myself I really think it's the only place to really meet, and go further from, build any relationship from, and do any action together from.
It's where intelligence lives..
Outside the space, how subtle a positive judgement can be (and also how good and flattering it feels often) I feel a stupidness..
Not the space I choose to be..
And I guess after this weekend I'll avoid it more and more....

June 3, 2014

Sustaining or thriving?

We want to create a better world, right?
We hear it all around.
Yes, that's why we talk so much about sustainability.
But, I wonder, by talking so, do we also really look deep inside?
How do we live?
Fromout our thoughts (old.., always behind 'what is'), or fromout another place? Heart, silence?
A place from where emerges?
We can change things, the way we did, but slightly a bit different. Less worse.
What we call sustainability.
Or radical different.
With a total different startingpoint.
The heart, openess.
That's what's called 'thrivability'.
Something new.

I go for the latter.
That's why I thrive at Knowmads, and other (rare) spaces, where there is space. Lot of space. For doing totally different.
Where it's all about floroushing (yourself) and thriving.
Not about staying sustain, but...more! 
Do you want a sustainable relationship with your lover? 
I guess more.
So we also can do more in any other 'field'. Personal, business, etc..
Radical different. Fromout that space called 'freedom'. We don't have to search for that, it's just here..(you'll see it if you don't let your head and fear overrule).
Let's use it and (co~)create!

June 2, 2014


If we're all not in our 'real power' yet, it doesn't make sense to take everything too serious.
We don't have to take it too serious when other people hurt us. It's not needed to carry it our whole life through.
How good it feels when you really see it: past (really, every past, even the past minute) is just past.
Past is old.
Made by us all being not in our 'full power'. So not worthy to be build on.
If you don't give it attention, you can give all to the moment, to freshnesh, Lemlem..:)
This is what regenerates and heals!
This is what gives air and space for 'real' growth!
How green do we want to see the world? I think it starts here!

June 1, 2014

Grassroots #2

A little addition on my latest post here.
I imagine my lovely parents happily jumping from their chairs by reading the sentence "I found my back home" and thinking I had found my own tradition (with it's religion too) back.
But (unfortunately) I have to dissapoint them.
Tradition isn't 'my thing'.
That's why I love where I am right now, and how I live. Free from tradition, past.
Just open for new, fresh, ...lemlem!

The 'ground' I ment, isn't to find in tradition.
Or in religion.
Or mystic books.
In nothing what's written or spoken, by anyone.
Just... myself.
Peace. Freedom.
What's everything.
Can't be teached! Just to 'see'! By everyone! Who said us we need organizations for it? Or secondhand (old) stories from whomever? Here, now, we are surrounded with it..we are 'it'..
Not something to be reached!
In every ground, wherever you're planted, it's there! 

May 31, 2014


More and more I feel thankful for the ground where I was planted, so to say. Where I was born, with who and how I grew up, etc.
As I grew up of course I wanted to explore other grass, what always seemed greener.
Exploring other traditions, countries, religions.
The beautiful thing is that I came home. Feeling grateful just for everything around me, in the broad sense.
Now I can truely say I love where I live. I don't say: 'I love the Netherlands'.No,I don't want to think in countries. 
I love the freedom I have.
The space to be myself.
I was in other countries where (how warm and cozy it can feel) tradition is holding you back in a way.
I dived also by reading into other cultures, traditions, religions, etc. 
I learned, and returned. 
Towards.. me:)

I was away, exploring (in the sense of exploring all the grass what seemed so beautiful green), and returned (really seeing the beauty of my 'own grass').
When I now would go or move somewhere (where-ever) I would't have that eagerness/ need to enrich myself with gifts from other cultures or so (expecting the grass will be greener, the culture richer, the people warmer), no, now I can go with a real different feeling. A feeling of totally being okay with my roots/ myself.
More than okay! Grateful! 

Connected Communities

May 29, 2014

Just questioning...

Just a question. Just wondering (again)..
If only love and compassion can change our problems (and we are learning that, don't we? In our own life we see it, and the world (and it's situation) needs it), why those 'skills' (or learnings) aren't seen more worthful than all others?
Why it's never the thing being asked and went for when there is someone needed in a(ny kind of) organization?
Why hard skills are required more often?

It looks so simple..
If we all have it on the first place  ~'bring more love into this world'~... how the world would look like then?
What do we teach the new generation?
Do we show/ teach love and compassion by ourselves?
Isn't that the most important work to do?
And show it, embed it in whatever kind of work?
Why it's never been asked in society?
Too soft?

May 11, 2014

A natural coalition

Jean Houston:

'Whereas the leading world religions have been created in times very different from our own, and whereas they often reflect a parochial perspective that lends itself to distortion, mutual antagonism and mayhem. And whereas each of these traditions also contain a mystical strain, an essence strain if you will, which offer universal non-political and even non-hierarchical teachings and knowings and practices, serving to show the sameness of pure Spirit at the core of them all. 

It behooves us to draw from these essential truths and, in the context of the uniqueness of a world that is interlinked and global in its scale and issues to create the basis for a new world spirituality. 
This is a spirituality that affirms that a coalition of high-spirited folks already exists. 
It is a world wide movement, a change in the collective psyche of the human by the attraction of its unconventional intelligence and compassionate actions that serve the world and all  its creatures. 
It is given charge by the necessity of our time to grow or die, become the possible humans we all have within us or forget about it.

This natural coalition is drawn together by the recognition that the elevation of consciousness is our fundamental life work. 

This is the condition of or our humanity. 
It is an entry, possibly on a global scale to new ways of being.
This is a genuinely democratic, self-organizing force, flowing through persons of all descriptions, all cultures, all walks of life. 
I have found it in a womansweeper of streets in Bangladesh and in the presence and discourses of the Dalai Lama.
I have seen it exquisitely demonstrated in human service endeavors where people take hands and center themselves before going out to work with gangs in East Chicago. 
This force does not flourish as any highly structured form. 
It is not an institution or a foundation or a religion or anything conventionally named. What I am finding is that thiscoalition is a living organism -- natural, wild, free. It is made up of individuals devoted to serving the world and developing themselves as finely-tuned instruments of service. They learn to gather in the energy of will-to-good, from which authentic goodwill flows out subtly to the entire world. 
It seems to be Spirit Itself as it is lensed through soul, that is Spirit incarnate in ourselves is experienced as soul. So whereas Spirit is infinite, soul is the infinite within each of us, uniquely designed to fit our beingnss in time. 
Soul is what we call the unique experience of Spirit for each of us.'

May 8, 2014

Open or closed?

Knowledge; when you act, move from here means 'I know'.
Wisdom: when you act, move from here means: 'is it true?'
Knowledge understands.
Wisdom feels.
Wisdom is a learning modus. 
Something enternal. Life. Ever new.
Knowledge is 'off'. Is 'old' the next moment.
Wisdom is regeneration. A process.
Knowledge is 'stopping the process'.

Education based on wisdom. Is it possible?
I know it is! I see it daily around me. 
Have a look at this video (even though it's in German):

May 1, 2014


Sometimes I wonder why I work at the place where I am nowadays.
In the coreteam of Knowmads Greenhouse.
A coworkingspace in the middle of Knowmads Business School.
I am there. Without the experience and professionality of setting up a coworking-space.

It often feels I dreamed of this space.
A ground for cocreation.
A space to redesign the way we work with eachother.
A space to grow and learn.
A place full of possibilities.

'What are you doing exactly? What's your role?'
One of the hardest questions to answer.

Two weeks ago I was being interviewed. What a great talk that was. For hours!
What I did, why.., the whole story.

And the beautiful thing is that we both learned a lot of this talk.
How someone, when living fromout the heart, can come totally in the right place on the right moment.
How things can fall together..
I told her almost my whole life story, and we both saw: everything came together, and Knowmads Greenhouse is just the place to be for me.

I couldn't be hired the 'normal' way.
I cannot prove typical 'hard' skills.
I don't have a clue what my profession is.
But one thing I can say: it's the place I really feel I have to be.
It looks it's created for me.

Because of the synchronicity, also explained in this video?
What everything has to do with heart?
If you live your life differently, magical things happen.. Sure thing for me! 

April 12, 2014

Complexity, simplicity

Like in your own life: (hopefully) there will come a moment you'll find out that everyting (all answers) are laying in YOU, yourself.
Like that I hope we (humanity) find our OWN answer for the complex worldproblems.
Life (love) is in you and me (we are) and is the answer.
Life (love) is in 'the world' and is the answer.

I think, although the worldproblems are enormeous, the answer lays in coming to one owns centre and celebrating that, rather than in other solutions.

I think Love, and so community, is the answer.
Your precious life is,
mine is.

When we find ourselves,
we find a trust in Life like we never had.
What if.. as humanity we're finding this trust?
It's not a 'trust' (hope) in governments, religion, leaders or guru's. No hope outside.
No..a deep trust inside. In Life itself, in Love.
How it would look like? From following others (outside) to lead by our own light?
From hope to trust?
From fear (the world is collapsing) to love?
I think it would become a far more happier world. And in this state we could start working together in a different way.
What my meaning is of the word 'cocreation'.

Working together fromout 'within', bringing trust, bringing lightness and simplicity. Lifting up.
In whatever 'field' it may be.

Bringing change, by bringing things (in a simple way) to the core.
'Cause where it's all about?
Humanity...relations, community..:


The wonderful thing (for me), is that I see this already happening. 
Do you recognise it too?
There is change, although some people say 'things will never change'.
I think it's like spring, you can never hold it back. It comes anyway.
And as little springleaves it's fragile.
But how strong! 

March 26, 2014 by day choice of being YOU

Fertile Unknown

From Competition to Cocreation - and Back Sometimes

CocreationExpanding your playing field to be at choice

What is your resonant mode, how do you approach working with others?
Competition - "I win if you lose."

Cooperation - "I will agree to go along with you here, if you agree to go along with me here - which might involve some compromise on both our parts - a chipping-off sometimes."

Collaboration - "We work together in a way that includes what is important to both of us and our visions without having to compromise."

Cocreation - "We work together in a way that includes what is important to both of us without having to compromise AND what we emerge is new, unexpected and greater than the sum of our visions."
The boundaries between these modes, of course, are permeable with overlaps. The key is that co-creation can contain collaboration, cooperation, and even competition under its umbrella, but competition generally does not contain co-creation. By consciously choosing to expand to a co-creative framework, our playing field opens up and we are at choice when to compete, cooperate, collaborate, or co-create - instead of doing only one of the modes on autopilot.
Every time we expand our habitual paradigm or mental playing field, new choices, options and possibilities open up. New interpersonal dynamics are possible. We do not have to negate one way of being to embrace another. By, to use an improv term, "yes-anding" each mode, we have creative choice on how we want to work. We can move in and out of different modes fluidly in a way that serves the purpose we are working toward rather than be "boxed by habit" into only one or two approaches.
One of the things I value most about the principles of improvisation is they establish an environment for lively co-creation. Within that larger container, participants have choices which other modes to engage at any given time, based on relevance within purpose...setting a fertile ground from which creative ingenuity can thrive.

This is a text copied from a website called: The Fertile Unknown ( and I was suprised by the common vision we have. It looks as my own vision of cocreation. It's all about fertileness and thrivability!
Thanks, Michelle James.

Welcome Home!

One of the funniest things I read in years (guess what, I read it on facebook; thanks Kyle) is the following.
It 's been already two or three years ago, so I won't repeat it correctly.
It's coming back in to my mind often.
Like today. While I was cooking it came up.
And inwardly I really had to laugh. 

'He came. He came very unexpected in to my house. 
You could hear my heartbeat.
How afraid I was..

He came closer and closer.
I was ready to hit him. Knock him down.
And then..

I looked him right in the eyes.
embraced him.
There he was, my own Fear..
And I loved him.'

Today I giggled again. 
I was thinking while having a not so nice feeling. I wished I could kick someone far to the moon. Even further. Into the black hole.
To be never and ever been seen again..

Why did I feel this? I had to ban this feeling, right?
What if I would watch her, my uninvited guest called Jealousy, straight in the eyes?
What instead of feeling ashamed she came ('one of those ugly 'Ego-issues' and totally not done spirituality wise'-->something for sure I should let go of immediately) I would give her the warmest hug possible?
What if?

To love your feelings, or at least accept they are there for a reason I think it's healthy.To have a great relationship with them, open and honestly.
Transparant. Straight. To resaerch them with love.
That's what I like!
I'm ready to embrace. Who ever will come silently slipping into my house.

'Welcome Home!' 

I'm there for you. 
With dozens of hugs.

March 23, 2014

Doing business differently

I'm so glad I spend my days those days at an international business school: 'Knowmads'.
A business school where it's all about 'doing business diffently'.
Differently? How? 
Aligning heart, head and hands.

Business with a heart.
That really makes sense to me.

Business, entrepreneurship is for me nothing more than 'right action'.
Putting your own things in action. Something what 'lives in you'. What needs to go out in the world.
Doing what you really want.
Action fromout the heart, fromout love.

You can't do the things you really want without (finding) yourself. 
What's for me the heart. The core..

A business school where it's about integrating. Time and focus on becoming and acting fromout your true self.
Knowmads. Changing the face of education, and changing the face of business.
A real Business School. 
Business fromout your core.
What means: you care.


February 28, 2014

Can't wait

What if...
...all those people, those people who think on their own, and do what they feel they have to do, who play a different game than we are 'supposed' to play, can find eachother somewhere?
Connecting and sharing with eachother far more easily?
Imagine a farmer in Kenya could very easily connect and grow together with a farmer in Iceland. Sharing knowledge, cocreate. Staying in close contact, even when it would be mostly online.
Or that that small business owners, like organic tea farmers in India, could easily find small homebased retailers in every country worldwide.
We do amazing things already.
I see the peer to peer market growing.
Grassroots movements let us see the power of self-organistion.
And I really think (and kind of 'believe') we can do more, far more!
I think all changemakers (who change the game, and choose for a healthier world) could unite much more and more.
What if..? What if we don't need this old economy anymore? But are strong and self-sustainable enough to share all good between the new players? Strong enough to play with our own rules? 
Am I dreaming, or is it 'real'?
I think the latter.
We know we can do. We are finding our power, and we know we can create. We know our intentions matter, and with simple things we choose we influence the way things are going.
So, what if...we all choose to connect? And really strengthen eachother?

Time for another kind of  facebook! With depth, vision. With facilitation that's needed.

I can't wait! 

Play on

Many people know a more beautiful world is possible.
A lot of them are giving all to change something in society.
Often the governments are holding back, don't make it esier at all.
It's not sure we can safe the world. Or better said: ourselves (the earth will safe herself I'm sure. We mankind aren't stronger than lifeforce itself) But let's try it at least. To live with more love, with more respect, and more intelligence. To show our children we don't choose to be selfish destroyers. That we care.
Often I think, the destructive people with power, they'll remain.
Like when you compare it with a childhood game. There was always an irritant, jealous disturber around who liked to destroy the happiness he saw. What we had to do? It seemed we couldn't change him. The best thing, I remember, was ignoring him. Simply not seeing him and go on playing. Maybe with a little twist in the game. So I see it also at a worldscale. The disturbing boy is (a) terrible power. But, going on; being who you are, happy, and play on (work on/ build on) shouldn't that the best (and only) thing to do?

February 22, 2014


Show me something what isn't holy.
Why all those rituals?
Does 'it', whatever 'it' is, need something?
All  'ordinary-ness'..

Wondering #2

I like to share something what really 'keeps me busy'.
Often people around me talking about, writing about or showing their great experiences.
Awesome 'space-travelings', kudalini-experiences, clair-voyance, great theory's etc.

A big 'but' keeps me busy.

I also see those people still do hurt.
By their opinions.
And.. in my eyes, when people hurt.. still hurt in very subtle ways than I feel it's not 'it'.
No truth for me.
Saying 'I want worldpeace', and not living it.. I don't understand that part. Difficulties in showing respect for others (next to close friends), for people who don't think the way they do.
'You are too good for this world', is what you then get. 'Don't be so soft and quit.'
How often I heard it in my life?

'You can explore as much you can, but if you don't give it a place in your daily life, in every moment, what worth does it have then?', I wonder.

Traveling the whole universe, all places of own minds (lots of psychical experiences) having the most awesome, average energetic explorations, being extreme extravagant, extraordinary and loud , having the most beautiful life-saving theory's.... but still hurting people.. Me I cannot get it and taking it serious, cannot see the 'lesson' you want to share, or the advice you wanna give.

I'd rather walk away (although it keeps me busy), and enjoy the ordinary, what has everything, all greatness in it..

February 8, 2014

A beautiful Trip

'You also should take some now and then in the evening, it's good for you', I was being said lately. In the sense, it would take me out of my mind and would give some nice relexation.
So, well ment, right? How very kind, nah? 

It made me wonder.
Every cell in my body seemed to disagree. Why?

Around me, very close around me, and everywhere in the society I see a lot of serious addictions. So sad.. So terrible sad.. (and yes right, almost everyone would say: 'Me? You're funny. No, I am in charge of it, I can totally handle it')
People cannot find their own way how to relax. To find peace. They miss something that they really enjoy (and become in need of it) what all those beautiful trips drugs can give us (I won't say they're not interesting travelings*)
But this underlaying thing, the need, that for me is so sad.. (And also what harm it can do to yourself later on in your life, and to people around you )

When I became pregnant immediately my body said me what it needed and what not.
And I had no problem at all to leave all unhealthier things.
I'm so glad this happened.
Did it just happen? No it was also a deep laying choice of course, to respect my body and (the newcoming) Life.

And I still have it. Why I should take the risk for coming being depended on certain stuff? Why I should make beautiful trips, when I already know how it expands your mind, when it gave me already a lesson, and see... every day GREAT this trip is.
Which trip?
Sitting here. Typing.
Life itself, how it is.
I prefere the Trip with my own state of mind. I love my mind, how it works and how we can use it to deeper our live. How it's an useful part of me.
I wish it also my children. The love for daily life and the own body, threating it with great respect. Wishing them to find their peace, and able to have and use it every second, without the need for pleasuring trips..

Like a holiday is. It's pleasuring.
But.. in the core it's not a necessairy.
It should not be, or?
If you live the life you want, your Life is a 'holiday'! And you don't need it anymore.. 

(*hearing people talk about indegious people, using it in their way, aware of the lessons it can give you. Yes, I know. But still..!)